


Bleeding tears

by Ilovetoread2019



Category: Beca Mitchell/Chloe Beale Fandom, Bechloe fandom, General Hospital, Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Beca is sick, F/F, Hurt, Love, Pain, Sad, Tani1602_, doctor Beale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:33:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 46
Words: 29,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25148512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilovetoread2019/pseuds/Ilovetoread2019
Summary: Chloe Beale is head of cardiac surgery at Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital. She is one of the best and most requested surgeons in Seattle.She worked hard for that dream to come true.One day a girl with massive injuries is brought into the ER. Somehow the redhead feels unusually worried about the young woman even though she deals with such cases every day.If only she knew this patient would bring her to the brink of despair...
Relationships: Chloe Beale & Beca Mitchell, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell
Comments: 13
Kudos: 76





	1. Emergency.

**Author's Note:**

> **Information:**
> 
> This Bechloe story is mixed up with some aspects of Grey's Anatomy (you don't need to know the show to understand the story) and I'm not a doctor so if anything is unrealistic or impossible just ignore it, because it's literally a fanfiction and everything is possible ;)  
> And if there are any mistakes in language I'm sorry tooooo
> 
> This isn't my work, I only repost it from somewhere else (with permission ofcourse 😁) coz I think it's an amazing story and y'all should read it.
> 
> This amazing story belongs to **TANI1602_**
> 
> So be kind, and enjoy reading.

**_Chloe's POV:_**

****

****

"Doctor Beale, ER 1", a voice echoed through the halls of Grey-Sloan Memorial hospital. "I'm on my way", I shouted and rushed to the emergency room. In my job every second counts. It's about pain and recovery. It's about life and death.  
When I entered the room I saw a young woman lying there, about 25 years old. Five of my colleagues were already examining her. All at the same time. Doctor Meredith Grey, head of general surgery, checked her lungs and her breathing, a resident was checking her temperature, Doctor Jackson Avery, head of plastic surgery, was taking a look at the open wounds on her body, Doctor Calliope Torres, head of orthopedics, examined the fracture on her left arm and Doctor Owen Hunt, head of trauma, tried to establish vascular access.  
The patient was unconscious and the steady beeping of the monitor started turning into a fast irregular one. I reacted and started giving cardiac massage in order to get the steady rhythm of her heart back. A loud, high pitched sound filled the room and the line on the monitor went flat. "Defibrillator! Instantly!", I yelled, still not stopping the massage. The nurse handed me the defibrillator and I placed it on the patient's chest. "Charge to 100", I ordered. A few seconds later I felt the shock as it pushed me back slightly. Still nothing. "Charge to 150", I said. No reaction.  
I nodded: "Charge to 350." Her whole body moved as the shock ran through. 

Finally I noticed little waves, indicating a heartbeat, on the monitor. "There", I pointed at the display. The sounds became steady, "we have a heartbeat". I took the opportunity and checked her heart with my stethoscope, since I was head of cardiac surgery. I noticed how much strength the woman's heart needed for every single beat. It was completely weak. "We have to get her in the OR", Hunt marked, "I suspect internal bleeding". "Something's not okay with her heart either , I can't tell exactly what it is from the outside", I added, being unusually worried. "Let's hurry up", Doctor Avery agreed.

While me and the other doctors got sterile, the nurses prepped the patient. "Do you know what happened to her, Meredith?", I asked, looking at the motionless body on the operating table through the glass which separated us from the OR. "I'm not quite sure but I think Owen said it was a motorcycle accident" , the experienced doctor and good friend of mine, answered. I let out a sigh. "Sometimes I'm asking myself why I decided to become a doctor. Yes I always wanted to do something good. I love helping and saving people. I love the adrenaline kick during operations. I love cooperating with other doctors...but I hate seeing people suffer, even if they only got bitten by a mosquito. When I was little my biggest fear were hospitals and I'm so bad at explaining bad news because I always have to keep my shit together so I won't start crying myself. Still I became adoctor...", I noted turning my head to Meredith. She raised one of her eyebrows and put on her 'are-you-done?' face. She cleared her throat and responded harshly: "You have to take the whole package and not just the good parts." Then she walked away, right into the OR. I knew she didn't mean it bad even if it sounded like that, but that's just her humor. A smile formed on my lips, because as always she was absolutely right.

I followed her into the OR where all the others were already waiting. We put the woman under anesthesia and opened her up. I took a closer look at her heart. "Shit",I mumbled. The heart she was carrying in her body was completely damaged. The muscle has got too weak to pump enough blood through her body. This wasn't caused by the accident. Heart failure can have many causes. It must have been a problem for quite some time because it was 4th stage already. There was nothing I could do. This girl needed a new heart. As soon as possible...


	2. Blue eyes.

**_Chloe's POV:_**

_When the internal bleeding was stopped and everything that needed to be done was done, we closed her up and let her bring to a room, where she'd hopefully wake up soon._

__

__

"Hey Callie, is her arm gonna be okay again?", I wanted to know and tucked the lose strand of hair behind my right ear. "I'm convinced her broken arm is the least problem", the black-haired woman declared. "Yes, I know but it's going to heal properly right?", I didn't even know why I cared so much about this young woman being okay. I mean it's my job of course but as a doctor I should always have an appropriate distance towards patients so I won't get affected by anything they do or prefer one over the other one. "Chloe...her arm is going to be alright, but what's a healthy, stable arm good for when your heart is failing?", she summarized the situation with sad eyes. I looked at her before I turned around and walked away.

I was making my way through the hospital, checking up on my other patients when my girlfriend bumped into me. Arizona Robbins, blonde hair, blue eyes, head of pediatric surgery and always in a good mood. "Oh hey", she squeaked with a bright smile on her face and pressed a soft kiss on my cheek. I smiled back weakly. "Is everything okay?" she asked as she realized something was clearly bothering me. "Everything is okay", I made sure and wanted to keep on walking in order to continue my check-ups. "Won't you give me a kiss?", she wondered and faked a sad face. I turned back and kissed her. The kiss was emotionless and short. I just wasn't in the mood for any intimacy right now because my mind was all over the place and not where it was supposed to be. Luckily Arizona didn't notice and was satisfied with the kiss as we both went on working . 

I passed the room of the young woman we had just operated. I played with the thought of checking if she was already waking up, even if I knew it was way too early for her to wake up and she was probably still asleep tightly.  
The sound of my pager interrupted my train of thought. I looked at it. "OR 3". Immediately I made my way to where I was needed. "What is is?", I asked when I arrived in the operating room, completely out of breath. "I need your help, Dr. Beale", Doctor Derek Shepherd, Meredith's husband, Neurosurgery, made clear. "The guy's heart has stopped and we can't get it to work again. Can you try?", he begged with a desperate look on his face.  
Shepherd was in the middle of removing the patient's brain tumor. "I can't really move my hands. If I do,I could damage something, which leads to brain bleed and within 5 seconds to death", Derek explained while keeping his hands still, which were holding the instruments sticking inside of the man's head, "so I need your help! Come on, Chloe! You are the best surgeon in this hospital and if anyone is specialist for making hearts beat again, it's you!"

The only "assistants" the surgeon had in this surgery were two residents in their first year who were standing next to the table, completely overwhelmed.  
I tried everything in my power to make the patient's heart beat again. When I say everything I mean everything. For almost 45 minutes. Eventually I gave up. "It has no use. It won't start beating again. I guess he had a massive heart attack. He is gone", I mumbled and let go of his body. I checked the clock. "Time of death 17:34" I announced loudly and closed my eyes for a second. "I'm sorry", I apologized before I left the OR. 

A few hours later I was ready to go home. I changed my clothes into normal clothes and grabbed my handbag. At the same time Jackson burst into the room. "Our young lady's awake. Can you check up on her before you leave?", he asked politely, "I have to pick up my daughter and Grey,Hunt and Torres are gone already." I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Ofcourse, I will", I confirmed and smiled widely. "Thank you. You're a sweetheart", he said thankfully and in the next second he was gone again.

I decided to change back into my work clothes so I was sure to be taken seriously. 2 minutes later I knocked at the door of room 301, and opened it afterwards. 

There she was. Only now I noticed her chocolate brown hair. "Hello, I'm Doctor Beale, how are you feeling?", I greeted her and tried to sound as nice as possible. She frowned and slowly opened her eyes. They were blue, a deep blue. Like the depths of the ocean or the evening sky right before it gets dark. The woman breathed heavily."What happened?", she finally dared to ask, "where am I?"  
Her voice was soft and sweet. It made me feel as if I could listen to it for hours without getting tired of it. "You're in hospital because you have had an accident with your motorcycle", I answered her question and examined her."Nobody has told me your name and I don't have your file with me so will you tell me?", I giggled and checked the infusions. "I'm Beca Mitchell", the patient revealed weakly...


	3. Bad news.

**_Beca's POV:_**

I heard someone knocking at the door of my room. "It must be a doctor", I thought. I heard the person coming in and I slowly opened my eyes. I couldn't believe what I saw.  
A female doctor, with red, long hair and big, turquoise-blue eyes was standing in front of my bed. She looked gorgeous and so young. I answered all her questions and let her examine me when the pain suddenly kicked in. I groaned as I felt it running through my whole body. "Miss Mitchell, where does it hurt?", the redhead asked, coming closer. "Everywhere", I managed to whisper and tried to relax. 

"I already gave you something against the pain, it should help soon", Doctor Beale clarified. "Could you follow my finger with your eyes please", she said quietly and came closer to my face. She shone into my eyes with a little flashlight and moved her finger from the left to the right, up and down. I did what she told me to do. I could feel her breath on my skin and nothing had ever made me feel this safe. "Alright Miss Mitchell", she conveyed and put on a serious face, "there's something else I have to tell you."

I was confused. A scary silence filled the room. Okay...spill it", I finally broke the silence, sounding tough, not knowing what was about to come. "You are suffering from heart failure...that means your heart muscle isn't strong enough to pump enough blood through your body anymore and since the damage is already pretty huge, there is nothing I can do. You need a new heart and you need it as soon as possible because the one you are carrying inside of your body now...could give up any second...", the young doctor explained carefully, seeming to be quite nervous. 

I was speechless, not in a good way as obvious. I swallowed when I felt tears building in my eyes. That wasn't common for me. I never cried. A tear dropped and I wiped it away immediately, hoping she hadn't seen it. "I know it's hard. I'm so so sorry. If I could I would do more for you.  
I already called UNOS and let you put on the list for a heart transplant. All we can do now is hope and wait", I heard her voice right next me but it sounded so far away because I had got lost in my own thoughts. 

"Do you want me to call anyone?", this sentence brought me back to reality. My parents were dead, my brother in another country. The only person I could think of was my best friend Amy. She was the only person I had. But I didn't want her to worry so much, not yet. "No thank you, I'm fine", I replied and my eyes caught the cast on my left arm. "Oh don't worry about that, it's gonna heal, as well as the wounds on your legs", Doctor Beale expressed happily, „in some way you can be glad about your accident. It made us find out about your heart failure and gave us a chance to help you with a heart transplant." 

I nodded in agreement. "I will leave you alone for now. If you need something or if anything's up you can just press this red button and you will be helped", the female pointed at a red button on the side of my bed. "Okay, thank you doctor", I responded and tried to smile. "I wish you a good night", she whispered and smiled back at me before she headed out of the room and closed the door behind her. 

I was tired but sleeping seemed to be impossible even though the pain really got less.  
The shock was stuck in my veins. I always thought I was perfectly healthy, I never had any obvious problems.  
But life is unpredictable. 

I grabbed my phone and decided to text check up on my best friend.

 **Me:** _Hey Ams, what's up?_  
21:13

 **Amy:** _Mitchell! I'm finishing the last piece of cheescake wbu?_  
sent 9:14pm

 **Me:** _Not surprised. I'm just chilling at home_  
sent 9:14pm

 **Amy:** _Want me to come over?_  
sent 9:15pm

 **Me:** _Nah, I'm tired. Going to sleep.  
Goodnight xx_  
sent 9:16pm

**Amy:** _You are definitely missing out on something ;) Goodnight sleepy ass_  
sent 9:16pm 

****

I felt bad about lying to Amy but I really wasn't ready to tell her. 

I wanted to turn around in order to sleep on my side but I was connected to machines and cables which made it pretty impossible.  
"Oh boy", I sighed and closed my tired eyes...


	4. It’s dark outside anyways.

**_Chloe's POV:_**

I was sitting in my car, in the parking lot of the hospital, waiting for Arizona to be done. Actually I should have been home for two hours already but the the check-up on Beca Mitchell forced me to stay longer. It was half past 9 and Arizona had texted me that she'd be done any minute.  
I zoned out, thinking about the way Beca had looked at me and how her eyes had widened whenever she had said something.  
I shook my head. "No Chloe, you are not allowed to think like that, not about a patient", I muttered to myself. 

"Who are you talking to?", my curious girlfriend asked after she had opened the car door and let herself sunk into the passenger seat. "Huh? Oh right sorry. I was just talking to myself", I laughed, being in a better mood than this afternoon. "How was your d-", but Arizona didn't let me finish my sentence. She pressed her lips against mine and let her tongue slide into my mouth. "Don't talk, sweetie", she breathed as she let go of me to take off her shirt. I did the same. Eagerly she grabbed my waist and pulled me onto her lap. We kissed passionately and I was able to forget, what I had thought about before my girlfriend had entered the car, for a moment.  
She placed gentle kisses on my neck and a quiet moan escaped my mouth.  
"Let's move to the back of the car", I suggested, biting my lip playfully. We crawled into the backseat and continued where we had stopped. 

Worriedly I looked around. "What if anyone sees us?" - "No risk, no fun", Arizona joked, "don't worry, it's late so there should be hardly any people and it's dark outside anyways."  
I felt my lust growing. "You are right", I agreed with her, "a little 'party' never killed nobody!" 

10 Minutes later we were done, breathing as if we had just ran a marathon. The thoughts of Beca made their way back to my mind. My mood dropped. I was so worried about her. What if there won't be a transplant in time?  
"Let's drive home", I said while looking at my girl, trying to ignore my thoughts. "You did good", I added with a smirk.  
We both got dressed before I started the engine of my car. 

Arizona and I didn't live together but she decided to spent the night at mine. Her car she was leaving at the hospital.  
My house wasn't far from work, about a five minute drive but with traffic these five minutes could easily turn into two hours.  
Luckily it was late so the streets were empty and a few minutes later I parked the car in front of my house. 

"Should I cook something for us?", I asked my girlfriend while I put off my jacket and shoes. She glanced at her watch. "It's already so late, Chloe", the blonde girl clarified. "Yes but aren't you hungry?", I wondered and made my way to the kitchen. "I am", she answered. "So what's the problem?", I wanted to know, „I will just make some noodles and a light sauce." 

45 minutes later I was lying in my bed, my girl next to me. "Goodnight hun", she whispered and yawned. "Goodnight", I echoed and gave her a goodnight-kiss.

_"Beca no, please please hold on. I need you. Don't give up, please", I cried as I stood next to her, trying to keep her alive. "You will get a new heart, just hold on a little longer", the tears were streaming down my face. "I'm sorry, I'm so exhausted", she whispered weakly and shut her eyes after she had pressed my hand one last time. I shook her and screamed: "BECA, DON'T LEAVE. PLEASE OH PLEASE! YOU CAN'T GIVE UP!_

I opened my eyes and looked into Arizona's eyes. "Hey, are you okay? You dreamed", she wanted to know and stroked my head. I was really sweaty and kind of confused. "I will go grab a glass of water", I told my girlfriend before I stood up and walked out of the room.  
"Fuck", I mumbled to myself as I was leaning against the kitchen counter, rubbing my forehead. 

She was everywhere. I couldn't stop thinking about her and now she even appeared in my dreams. What was happening to me? I didn't even really know that woman....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
> Hey 👋🏻  
>  I'm not that proud of this chapter, especially not the end but I hope you like it anyway :)  
> **   
> 


	5. Runaway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay.  
> But here is the next chapter.
> 
> **Enjoy**

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

The next morning Arizona and I drove to the hospital together. I wasn't happy when I saw another car parking where I usually parked my car. "Ugh, so many free spots but no, that car has to stand right there", I complained and rolled my eyes. The blonde couldn't help but giggle. "Shut up, Robbins. It's not funny", I said sarcastically.

**_Beca's POV:_ **

The chirping birds and the bright morning sun woke me up early. I checked the time. 6 o'clock. I had a headache and noticed light pain on my broken arm. I was hoping for Doctor Beale to check up on me but that wasn't the case. A male doctor with almost no hair walked into my room. He hadn't even knocked. "Good morning, I'm Doctor Avery. How was your night?", he asked and scrolled through the tablet he was holding in his hands. "I couldn't turn around because of all this stuff being connected to me so I actually slept pretty shitty", I stated, not being able to hold back my words, "but it's alright."

After he had disappeared again I felt myself becoming sad. I felt lonely. I realized how alone I was. "I'm gonna die anyway, so what's the point in staying here? There won't be a transplant in time, not for me. I don't want to spend the last days of my life in a hospital", I thought to myself.

I had made a decision. Fast but sure.

Roughly I pulled the infusion out of my arm and ripped the cables from my body. I jumped up, put on the clothes that were hanging over the chair, and headed to the door. They were dirty and had holes in them from the accident but that didn't really matter to me in that moment. As I opened the door I checked the hallway. No one was there. Now or never.  
I started running. All I wanted was away from here. I didn't know where this sudden urge came from but it was there. I kept running and running.

Suddenly I felt a sharp pain, as if someone was stabbing right into my heart with a knife. I felt it getting harder to breathe. Drops of sweat started draining down my face. I ignored it because I was convinced I'd make it.  
A wave of dizziness crashed over me and the walls around me started spinning. I broke down and seconds later everything went black. All I was hearing were my heavy, loud and irregular breaths before I lost consciousness.

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

"Good morning, Chloe", Owen greeted me. "Morning", I said back while I was tying my hair into a bun. "Ready for the day?", he wanted to know. "I guess", I replied and laughed, "has UNOS called yet?"  
The trauma doctor shook his head: "Unfortunately not."  
My hands slipped into the pockets of my white medical gown. "How are things going with Doctor Robbins anyways?", he wondered, seeming to be pretty curious. "Things are going well", I responded kindly. "How long have you been dating now?", the man kept bombing me with questions. "About a year", I answered when I heard someone shouting for help.

I looked around the corner where I saw a nurse sitting on the ground. Hunt and I didn't hesitate for a second and rushed towards her. When we got closer I could see a girl lying next to her on the ground. It was none other than Beca. "Doctors, I found her on the ground. She is unconscious and her pulse is weak", the educated nurse explained. "Okay, thank you", I expressed my gratitude, "could you organize a litter?"  
She nodded and jogged around the corner.

I sat down and laid Beca with her head into my lap. "Hey, Miss Mitchell can you hear me?", I began trying to wake her up. "She's pale", Owen realized. "I know", I agreed with him and subconsciously stroked her head, "her time's running up."


	6. Confusion.

**_Beca's POV:_ **

Voices surrounded me but they seemed to be all mixed up. When they started to get louder and clearer I noticed myself becoming more and more conscious. "Come on, open your eyes for me", I heard a voice saying. I knew this voice but I couldn't assign it. The voice paused. I blinked several times as I tried opening my eyes. At first my sight was blurry but then I realized I was looking right into Doctor Beale's face and a smile formed on her lips. "Glad you're back", she managed to say sweetly while I caught myself getting lost in her eyes. Doctor Hunt interrupted the moment without intention. "The litter is there", the man signaled and got up from the floor.

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

Carefully I gripped her head and got up as well. Now my hands wandered from her head to her armpits. Owen grabbed her feet.

Together we picked her up and back down onto the litter. We transported her back to her room. When she was lying in bed again I took the courage to ask what she was planning on doing. Doctor Hunt had been paged for an emergency in the ER so it was just her and me.

"I wanted to run...", she began. "But Miss Mitchell your body is so weak, how did you think this would work? You need a new heart in order to keep living and here, in a hospital, is your only chance to get that", I restated the problem while sitting next to her on the bed. "First of all, please call me Beca and no there will never be a transplant in time", she raised her voice on the second part of the sentence, "I don't want to die lying in this bed nor spend my last days here!"  
I felt so sorry for her. She was suffering, not only physically.

"Okay...Beca...I understand, but you can't lose hope right now. You have to hold on, you have to fight", I motivated her. My hand rested on top of hers and our eyes met. Nobody dared to say a word. Tension was building between us. How it had to be, Arizona popped into my mind. I pulled my hand away, however I wasn't able to break the eye contact. "I have lots of things to do", I finally managed to get out of my mouth as I stood up. "Oh, of course", the brunette responded awkwardly and waved, "see you."  
With fast steps I walked towards the door. "I'm Chloe", I pointed out with a catchy smile on my face, "but pssst." I put my index finger on my lips before I headed out of the door.

The day passed slowly, as if in slow-motion. I didn't have any outstanding cases or operations, only some little things. I had been avoiding Arizona since this morning, since this thing with Beca. I felt bad in some way. But Beca was special, I couldn't tell what it was that was so special about her, but there was something and it was impossible for me to ignore. Maybe it was her hands, or her eyes, or her hair, or her smile. Maybe it was everything.

"Ginger", Meredith tapped on my shoulder and got me out of my thoughts. "Huh", I burst out and turned to her. "Could you take over my night shift today? Derek has to stay here too and I have no one to watch after the kids", she pleaded. "Sure", I promised her without any hesitation. She just was one of my best friends and has done a lot for me so I couldn't and didn't want to refuse her request.

At night the hospital was pretty quiet, the only thing that wasn't was the ER. Emergencies come in 24/7.

The sun was setting and I sat in a chair in the attending's room and took a bite of my toast I had brought from home. Now and then someone came in and then left again. "Here you are, are you ready to go?", Arizona asked in surprise since I was still sitting there in my work clothes. "No I'm staying", I replied coldly, taking another bite of my toast. "How do you mean you are staying?", the blonde wondered and I noticed her disappointment in the tone of her voice. "Have to take Grey's shift", I kept explaining harshly not even looking up to her. "Well okay, goodnight then", she said in response. "Goodnight", I mumbled back, hardly audible. She pressed a kiss against my forehead before she left.

What was wrong with me? I didn't mean to be so dismissive towards her even if I had been avoiding her the whole day. I really love her.  
I finished my toast and rubbed the crumbs off my clothes.  
I had to get Beca out of my head, but how?


	7. Resisting is impossible.

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

How should I do that when I had to see her every day? I mean I needed to check up on her on a daily basis, since I was the heart specialist. I could ask Doctor Altman if she was willing to take Beca as her patient. She was a cardiac surgeon as well but unfortunately not as good as me. I wanted to best for Beca, so I decided against this idea of mine. But I definitely needed to find a solution.

Meanwhile it was almost 2 o'clock in the middle of the night. I didn't have anything to do. On the one hand I wanted to stay away from Beca as much as possible but on the other hand I had a hard time holding myself back from taking a glance at her while she was sleeping. Eventually I gave in and made my way to her room. I opened the door a little without making any noise. "Hello?", I heard her soft voice. Fuck. She was awake. Hectically I searched for an excuse. "Damn Chloe", I thought to myself and would have loved to punch me before I started whispering: "Ehm hey...it's me... Doctor Beale...or....Chloe...and I just wanted to see if you are okay...I thought you were sleeping." 

**_Beca's POV:_ **

"Sleeping in this bed is like sleeping on bare ground", I answered and let out a short laugh that turned into a sigh. "Why don't you come in...unless you have something else to do", I invited the young doctor and moved to the left side of my bed, so she'd have space to sit down. I could feel her debating on whether she should come in or not. "Better not", the redhead said, obviously struggling to answer.

"I don't bite", I clarified which made her giggle. It was the cutest giggle I had ever heard. "Yeah...okay", it changed her mind and she let herself drop onto the bed right next to me and our arms touched for a second before she pulled hers away. What was wrong with her? Was she so afraid of closeness? Or why else would she pull away immediately? Arms touching doesn't mean anything neither is it a big deal, well at least not in general, for me it was but she didn't have to know that.

I decided to not speak to her about it and asked another question instead: "Have you slept?" - "Not in 36 hours", her reply shot out of her mouth, "but that's okay because I am totally used to it. That's what being a doctor, especially being a surgeon, is like." - "But aren't you tired?", I wondered in surprise. "I'm so tired", the woman explained and put her arms in the air to illustrate how tired she was, "but I have learned to ignore and to hide it." She smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. She had sparkles in her eyes and they were dancing like stars in the night sky.

"Do you wanna play a game?", she asked and opened her hair. It was falling over her shoulders and the scent filled the room. It smelled like sunflowers and honey. "I can go grab some cards", the girl suggested and I nodded in agreement.   
5 Minutes later she came back and had a stack of cards in her hands. We played until the next morning and had a nice time until her pager disturbed. "Shit, I forgot I have surgery now. I gotta go", Chloe pointed out and walked, almost ran, off. 

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

I sprinted all the way through the hallway, to the other side of the building.   
"I'm sorry I'm late", I apologized between my heavy breaths and tried to calm down. "Get ready, Beale", Meredith hissed and if eyes could kill I would have fallen over. 

Arizona was part of the surgery too because the woman we operated was pregnant. "Hey Ari", I said through my mouth protection before I cut open the patient's chest, when suddenly everything around me started beeping...


	8. A mistake.

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

"Chloe what have you done", Doctor Grey shouted. Liters of blood were spurting out of the patient's chest. I stood there in shock staring at the woman's body. My scalpel dropped to the floor and the world around me became quiet.

Everything disappeared for a moment and the only thing I could see was the patient's body lying on the operating table in front of me, covered in blood. "Doctor Beale!Move! Do something!", Meredith yelled at me while she and Arizona were trying to stop the bleeding. When my vision became normal again, I found myself in the OR, full off doctors and nurses rushing around me. 

I had cut too deep and at the the wrong place into the woman's chest and had damaged important arteries and veins leading to and away from the heart.  
When I had caught myself I fearfully but professionally helped stopping the bleeding and luckily was able to repair the damage I had caused before the patient would have passed away.

After the surgery was done Arizona came up to me with a serious face. "What the hell Chloe", she sounded annoyed, "can you explain?" I shrugged. "Never in your whole career you have made a mistake of this kind. You are a perfect surgeon!", the blonde stated and crossed her arms in front of her body. "Mistakes can happen to anyone", I defended myself and wanted to walk away but Arizona grabbed my arm. "Yes everybody makes mistakes but this wasn't just a mistake...you almost killed that woman", she threw out, "and such mistakes don't just happen to you, there must be a reason behind it." - "Babe listen, I've just had a bad day, okay? There's n...", I wanted to explain but I got interrupted: "You seem to have a lot of these lately!" 

I inhaled deeply. I was about to open my mouth but my girlfriend did before. "I feel like you don't want to be with me anymore. You are being cold, you are being emotionless. You are pushing me away and you are avoiding me. Don't think I didn't notice", she spoke angrily with disappointment in her eyes. 

"This has nothing to do with you, believe me. I didn't mean to treat you the way I did. I've just been having a few bad days but that doesn't have any particular reason", I exclaimed convincing, "I love you."  
My words made her relax and I kept talking: "there isn't always a reason for a person's actions. That's something you have to learn to understand." 

I couldn't believe that I had just lied to my own girlfriend. 

I knew damn well that it was because of Beca, even what happened in the OR. 

I pulled her into a hug and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I'm sorry", I whispered, "how about I make it up to you?"  
I took her by the hand and pulled her into the on-call room. "I don't have time for make up sex right now", she said, „I have three moms up there who are about to give birth but thank you for the offer." - "Always", I responded and our ways separated. 

I am such a bad person. Arizona didn't deserve that but I couldn't help it. Beca was at fault, but she wasn't the one to blame either.

Without realizing I made my way straight to Beca's room, to tell her about the recent events. I just had to. She was like a magnet, even if hardly knew her.

**_Beca's POV:_ **

I was scrolling through instagram when there was a knock at the door and seconds later a red-haired doctor entered the room. She looked exhausted. "How was surgery?", I asked kindly. 

I looked right into her eyes and I could see them filling with tears. "Chloe hey, what's up? What happened?", I wanted to know and got worried, "come here, sit down and tell me about it." Just like yesterday there was a moment of hesitation before she sunk onto the bed. I opened my arms and to my surprise the redhead laid her head onto my chest, even though the day before she would pull away when our arms touched, and started sobbing. 

Immediately I wrapped my arms around her. "Shh it's okay", I tried to comfort her and slightly rocked her from side to side, "I'm here."


	9. I don’t know what you mean.

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

"Do you want to tell me about it", the brunette spoke softly as her hand ran through my hair. I freed myself from her arms and sat up, preparing myself to talk but the tears wouldn't stop running. "Take your time", Beca let me know and her hand reached for my cheek. Gently she wiped away a tear with her thumb and I could feel my heart starting to beat faster.   
"I...almost...ki...killed...a...patient", I finally managed to stutter. "How did that happen?", she wanted to know and I carefully explained the story. "I'm so sorry", Beca clarified and I could see the sympathy in her face. "And then I even had an argument with my girlfriend", I pointed out, not being sure whether it was the right thing to say or not.

**_Beca's POV:_ **

Chloe had a girlfriend. I needed a moment to adjust to that fact even though it shouldn't actually affect me. "Everything okay?", Chloe wondered when she saw me staring at the wall. "Oh...yes. Continue", I made sure and looked back at her. „What did you argue about with your girlfriend, if I may ask?", I questioned carefully. "Uhm...just about the mistake I had made in surgery and how I have been kinda off towards her lately", the ginger expressed seeming to have calmed down, "nothing serious though." 

I nodded but I had the feeling that what she said about the argument wasn't the whole truth. 

"Thank you", Chloe mumbled shyly and a smile formed on her lips. "Not for that", I told her and winked.   
"Is everything fine with you? Do you have any pain?"- "I'm good", my answer filled the room. 

I heard the door handle getting pushed down and moments later Doctor Torres stood in front of us. "Hey I just wanted to check up on you, but as I can see Doctor Beale already did", the kind orthopedist announced and glared at Chloe, who had stood up from my bed faster than a cheetah running through the savannah.  
"Yup", the redhead responded awkwardly. The skeptical look of the black-haired doctor could not be missed and I didn't quite know how to act. "I better get going", Chloe proclaimed and walked passed Torres heading out of the door.  
The doctor shook her head in confusion before she left as well.

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

That was embarrassing and it was dangerous. I'm not allowed to build an emotional bond of any kind with a patient in this hospital. Beca was wrong. I was risking my job and my relationship every time I was near her but I had never felt safer in anyone else's arms. And the way she smelled, addictive. And how she comforted me without any hesitation, precious.

I was sitting in the cafeteria having lunch, which didn't taste that well, when Callie approached me. "Beale, what was that?", she laughed, meaning the situation in Beca's room. "I don't know what you mean", I lied and kept looking at my plate. "Come on, you were sitting on her bed and you felt caught when I entered the room", she explained, "I'm not gonna blame you" - "Mhm", I said and poked in my food. 

Arizona sat down next to us and Torres suddenly became quiet and smiled nervously, looking at Arizona. I knew Callie had a crush on Arizona because it was pretty obvious, but I was able to totally ignore that because I knew that Arizona only loved me. 

But did I really still love her?

"Hey", the blonde said in her bubbly voice.   
"Do you wanna finish my lunch?", I asked, passing her my plate. "It looks like somebody has vomited on it, no thank you", she refused to eat it and pushed the plate away from her.


	10. Strawberry lips.

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

Weeks passed and every day was basically the same. I woke up, I went to work, I had surgeries and I spent hours talking to Beca. I noticed how she became weaker and weaker and my worries bigger and bigger. There still wasn't a heart for the little brunette.  
It had been a month since her accident.

Often I walked with her through the hospital and sometimes I even went outside with her, so she could get some fresh air. 

Spring had begun and all the flowers were blooming in their brightest colors.  
We were sitting next to each other on a bench in the small park of the hospital.

"Chloe...", Beca started mumbling. "Yes?", I replied kindly and tilted my head to show her I was listening.

"You will remember me, right?", her eyes were focused on the uneven ground.

"How could I ever forget you", I responded and took her hand in mine, resting them on her leg.

She looked at me and a smile formed on her lips as she whispered: "You are beautiful."  
My heart was melting and almost jumping out of my chest at the same time. Our eyes locked. I forgot everything around me. The only thing that mattered in that moment was her and I.

The gap between our faces became smaller as we both started leaning in slowly. With my free hand I grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to me. 

A million fireworks exploded inside of my body when our lips finally touched.  
It was a passionate kiss and the best I've ever had. Her lips tasted like strawberry and being that close to her made me drown in my feelings.

When we let go of each other you were able read the impressment written in my face before I checked our surrounding, making sure nobody had seen us. 

"I'm sorry, I couldn't stop myself", the brunette explained. "Same over here", I chuckled and pressed her hand, "I think it's getting cold out here, we should get you inside."

After I had dropped her off in her room and had connected all the cables, I headed to the bathroom. 

My thoughts were eating me up.  
I splashed water into my face and looked up, seeing the reflection of myself in the mirror.  
I had to end things with Ari. But how was I gonna do that without hurting her? Impossible.  
I got mad at myself for allowing to create such a mess in my life.

"Arrggh", I burst out angrily and wanted to cry it all out but I had it under control.  
I took a deep breath before I left and went back to work. 

My paranoia kicked in. I felt like everybody was watching me knowing what I had done, even if this wasn't the case. Nervously I looked around, hoping desperately not to run into my girlfriend.

My phone vibrated and I took it out of my pocket in order to check it. It was a message from Beca. I had given her my number a few days ago.

 **Beca:** _Thank you for 'that'_  
sent 5:44pm

I smirked and automatically bit my lip.  
Subsequently I let my phone slide back into my pocket. 

Whenever I was with Beca or saw anything that had to do with her, all my problems and worries were instantly blown away for a moment. 

This woman had turned my life upside down.  
Sadly not only in a good way.


	11. One beer.

**_Beca's POV:_ **

The kiss with Chloe had felt amazing. I had been wanting to kiss her since the day I had first seen her. 

I was sitting in my bed, just smiling widely.  
I played with the thought of sending Chloe another text message. Something like "I really like you" but I decided not to because I didn't want to be too much of a softie. 

For a few days already I had been having trouble breathing. I knew damn well that there wasn't much time left for me. Every day started to become a daily struggle. 

My smile faded when I started speculating about death and what might come after.  
I didn't believe in god but I believed that there was something. I believed that death wasn't the end. 

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

After work I decided to go to Joe's bar. It was next to the hospital and us doctors always went there to chill and drink after a rough day of saving lives.

"One beer, please", I ordered and sat down on one of the bar stools. 

It wasn't busy today, only a few people were playing darts and sipping some drinks. Not anyone I knew.

I laid my head on the counter and played the whole day on repeat in my head.  
"Your beer, Ma'am", the barkeeper said and placed the glass next to me. I sat up straight and thanked him before I took a sip.  
One beer turned into four, five, six.

"I'd like to have a shot", I announced, obviously tipsy. "What kind?", the barkeeper asked while he was cleaning the counter. "Vodka will do", I giggled and searched for my lipgloss in my handbag. After what felt like years I had finally found it and refreshed my lips. 

My throat burned as I swallowed the alcoholic liquid.  
Only a few minutes later I could feel the effect.  
I ordered another one.  
I felt the dizziness overcoming me.  
I ordered the third one.  
Speaking clearly turned into a challenge.  
I ordered the fourth one.  
My sight started getting more and more blurry.

My head was resting on my hand as I started babbling random things.  
"Doo you knooow what I reeeeally like?", I pointed out and the barkeeper looked at me in confusion. "No", he laughed and went on cleaning the dishes. "Choooocoolate", I slurred and looked at the ceiling, "annnnd giraffes", I added making weird moves with my right hand, "oooh I loooove giraffes, they are sooo loovely animaaals."  
I burst out laughing and ordered the fifth shot.  
In less than 10 minutes I was done with the sixth and seventh. It was half past 11.  
My phone was ringing but I didn't notice it.

"Can I havve anothe one", I managed to phrase.

"Don't you think you've had enough?"

"No, no I'mmmm okay", I tried to make him clear and smiled. I must have looked like a tired horse.  
Unwilling the barkeeper filled my shot glass for another round. 

I had reached the point where I could say I was really really drunk. I hadn't been planning on getting drunk. I only wanted to have one beer. My messed up situation made me pass my limits. 

Again my phone was ringing, but I was resting on the counter, halfway passed out.  
"Do you have someone to come pick you up", I heard a male voice wanting to know. It must have been the barkeeper but I hardly realized anything anymore. 

Until I felt the nausea rising.

I jumped up and staggered to the bathroom during which I almost fell down like 11 times. I covered my mouth but luckily reached the toilet in time as I threw up.


	12. The morning after.

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

I was sitting on the floor next to the toilet leaning against the wall of the cabin. 

It was almost midnight and I felt like dying.

I swore to myself that I'd never drink again.  
I heard someone entering the bathroom.  
"Chloe?", a female voice shouted. I had trouble answering since I couldn't quite form any words. The door of the cabin I was in wasn't locked because I had forgotten that in the rush. I heard heels clicking on the floor coming closer. 

The door squeaked as the woman opened it and saw me leaning above the toilet as I threw up for the 50th time. 

Of course it was Arizona. 

"Chloe damn! Are you serious? Why didn't you tell me where you were going? I waited for you at your house. I was worried. Why didn't you answer any of my calls?", she asked, clearly pissed, and grabbed my hair in order to hold it back.  
"What?", I didn't really get any of her words. "Where's Beecaa?" I wanted to know from the blonde girl. She frowned. "Who is Beca?", my girlfriend was confused. "I wannaa go to herrr", I mumbled before I passed out on the floor. 

Arizona sighed before she picked me up and carried me outside. She paid for my drinks and put me in the passenger seat of her car.  
When we arrived at my mine she laid me onto my bed. "Do you want me to stay?", she was wondering while she dropped the blanket over my body.

"Beca", I kept saying. "You are so drunk. I will call you in sick for work tomorrow. Text me when you wake up. I placed a glass of water on your nightstand", Arizona declared and left. Minutes later I found myself in dreamland.

** The next morning  **

**_Beca's POV:_ **

Today I slept a bit longer than usual. I was waiting for the nurse to bring breakfast because I was literally starving even though the food wasn't too delicious.  
When I had finished my bread, I took a sip of my orange juice. My thoughts were drifting to Doctor Chloe Beale. I was wondering if she would come visit me after our kiss yesterday. 

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

I opened my eyes and immediately closed them again. Never in my life I had had such a headache as this morning. I placed my hand on my forehead and sat up. I looked around. I froze when I saw how late it already was. "Shit", I cursed and grabbed my phone  
I had a text message from Arizona.

 **Babe:** _Good morning. I called you in sick. Hope you feel okay. We'll talk tonight._  
sent 8:03am

I couldn't remember anything from last night so I decided to get up to make myself a cup of coffee. 

**_Beca's POV:_ **

It was already afternoon and I still hadn't heard anything from the redhead. I had been patiently waiting for her to come and check up on me...but nothing.

Suddenly I felt my lungs tightening and my heart starting to beat faster. I pressed the red button and screamed for help

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

My phone rang. I picked it up. "Chloe Beale", I spoke softly. It was work. 

"Doctor Beale, you have to get here as fast as possible. We need you. It's about Beca Mitchell", the voice on the other side of the line explained and hung up.


	13. The end?

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

I got dressed, grabbed my keys and hopped into my car. I wanted to start the engine but it didn't work.

"Damn it!", I yelled and hit the steering wheel, "why now!??"

I got out and opened the engine hood.  
Steam was rising up.  
"Screw it", I said, smashed down the hood and pulled the keys out of my car.  
I went around the corner of my house and searched for my bike.

2 minutes later I was on my way. I biked as fast as I could, my headache was forgotten.

15 minutes later I arrived at Grey-Sloan Memorial hospital and rushed through the door, up to the second floor.  
"I'm here, I'm here", I shouted as I approached Beca's room, seeing three doctors standing around her bed. "It's her heart, it's failing", Jackson declared. "Let me see", I said and squeezed me through between the men.

Beca's eyes were open, she was awake but she was sweaty and her facial expression was everything but healthy and strong.

"Hey", I whispered and tried to smile at her. The brunette tried to smile back. I examined her heart. It was beating slower than ever and I could hear Beca whimpering from pain.

"It's okay", I spoke softly, "breathe in and out."  
"Could you guys please find a free OR?", I wanted to know from the others. They nodded and headed out. I was left with Beca.

"Ch..ch..l..oe", she managed to mumble. "You don't have to talk", I told her as I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. I sat down next to her and stroked her cheek. With my sleeve I carefully dabbed the drops of sweat from her forehead.

"It...it's the end...", the weak girl phrased in a low voice. A tear rolled down my red cheek. "No...it's not", I made clear and wiped my watery eyes. "I will help you okay? I can give you and your heart some more time okay?", I promised her and I felt my voice cracking.  
"Th...thank...y...you..for...eve..every...thing",  
Beca brought out and our eyes met.

Hers were full of pain.

Before I could answer I heard someone's voice yelling that the OR was ready. "Don't you give up okay?", I said in a serious voice while I was rolling her bed. "I...I'm...sorry", escaped her mouth and her eyes shut.

"I know you can do it", I pointed out to her and tried to hold back my tears.

I sped up. "Move!", I screamed through the hallway, making my way to the operating room.

There wasn't time to get sterile. So when we got there, I moved her over to the operating table with the help of Doctor Hunt and Doctor Avery and opened her up. With the assistance of the these two, I placed a pacemaker into her chest. I hadn't done that from the beginning on because I wanted to have that as a last option, to make time.

"Please work", I muttered to myself as I closed her chest again.  
"Done?", Owen asked.  
"Yes, we'll see if it will give her a little more time until a right donor is found", I explained  
Now there was nothing else to do than wait.  
It was torture.  
I prayed to god for her to wake up again.  
But the day passed and no reaction of her's to be seen.

What if she wasn't going wake up? She has become so important to me. I needed her jokes to get me through the day and her smile to make bad times okay again...


	14. Forbidden thoughts.

**Chloe's POV:**

The waiting made me sick.  
I was sitting next to Beca's bed just staring at her. Peacefully she was lying there with her eyes closed and her brown hair resting on her shoulders.

Still there wasn't anything I wanted but for her to wake up. 

It was late a night. I had fallen asleep in the chair I'd been sitting in all day.  
When I felt a squeeze on my hand I slowly started waking up and yawned before I opened my eyes. "Beca you are awake!", I cheered when I realized it was her hand squeezing mine. "Hey Ginger", she whispered and put on her cute, little, badass smile.

I gave her a soft hug. "How are you feeling?", I wanted to know from her as I kneeled on the ground, so I could be closer to her face.  
"Better than this morning but still worse than the last weeks", she replied and let out a sigh.  
"I'm so sorry Becs. I placed a pacemaker though", I explained.

"No don't you be sorry you are doing the best you can and I'm so grateful", the brunette interrupted me.

I leaned in and pressed my lips against hers.

"Stay strong", I mumbled after I had let go of her. I stood up and left the room.  
I drove home and hopped into my bed.

As I lay there I thought about Beca, but not in the usual, innocent way.  
I thought about her in way I had never thought about her before. I started exploring her body in my mind and that was when I knew I wanted her, I needed her, I craved her.  
My hand slid into my pants and I rolled my eyes as I felt the touch.  
I stopped.

"No, this is so wrong. I should be thinking about Arizona", I muttered to myself and pulled the hand out of my pants.

The thought of Arizona didn't tease me in any way at this moment, so I decided to try and sleep.

The mess in my mind kept me awake for the 4th time this week.

After rolling from one side to the other and changing from lying on my stomach, to laying on my side, to lying on my back for the 100th time I decided to get out of bed. I headed to the kitchen and opened the fridge. "Ugh", I burst out, "why is it always so empty?"

I made myself a hot chocolate and sat down at the table, switching on my laptop.

I got an idea I could have gotten way earlier.

When my laptop was ready I opened Instagram and searched for 'Beca Mitchell'  
Luckily I found her profile immediately.

I scrolled through her pictures and once again caught myself admiring her beauty.  
"Damn it, Chloe", I announced and hit my head on the table, without wanting to hurt it, just for my stupidity.  
A text popped up on my phone.

 **Babe:** _I miss you. I'm sorry if I have been too hard on you the recent night._  
sent 4:16am

Why was Arizona awake at this time? And why did she have to text me now? Made it even worse.

I didn't want to be too much of an ass so I chose to reply to her.

 **Me:** _It's fine. Miss you too_  
sent 4:19am

I finished my hot drink and waddled back to my bedroom.

I was debating on whether to sleep or not, since I'd have to get up in one and a half hours anyway....


	15. Little patient.

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

My alarm scared the shit out of me when it rang. It was 6am. Obviously I had fallen asleep again for those one and a half hours. I felt like a  
truck had just run me over.

I made my way to the bathroom and got ready.

At the hospital I bought myself some breakfast and a cup of coffee, strong coffee of course.  
I decided to visit Arizona in pediatrics and stepped into the elevator.

I usually took the stairs because I was pretty claustrophobic but today I really didn't find the power to walk up all those stairs. As the doors of the elevator closed I shut my eyes and tried to concentrate on something else. Even though this elevator was kind of huge it always took a lot of courage.

When I finally arrived on the 5th floor I looked out for my blonde girlfriend.  
I found her checking up on the new born babies and rushed towards her. "Hey just wanted to say good morning", I greeted her and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.  
"Good morning. Is that coffee for me?", she wanted to know when she noticed the cup in my hand. "Oh...no that's mine", I answered and symbolized as I took a sip.  
"Anyways, gotta go. Just wanted to see you", I lied and walked away, leaving her stand there in confusion.

It wasn't that much of a lie because I wanted to see her but not because I missed her so much but because I wanted to see her one more time to make sure that what I was about to do was the right thing.

I was two meters away from Beca's room when I got paged. "Ugh fuck it", I demonstrated and changed direction.

"Doctor Beale, we are overloaded. There are so many patients in the ER but not enough trauma doctors. Could you please take over those little cases for today? Like the little cuts or the broken arms?", Owen wanted to know from me as I stood in front of him. "Excuse me?", I was taken a little bit by surprise. "Yes, I checked your schedule and you don't have anything important today," the man made clear and handed me over the tablet. "Fine", I replied, obviously annoyed, and took the electronic device.

"Hello little man, what happened to your forehead?", I asked the young boy sweetly as I approached him. His mom was standing right next to him. He was about 5 years old and had a little cut on his forehead which was bleeding. "I fell from my scooter", he responded shyly and looked at me with big eyes. "Aww, does it hurt a lot? Will you let me check it?", I wanted to know from him and the kid nodded.

Carefully I took a closer look.

"Seems like we need to stitch it up", I stated. He winced. "Oh no, hey, don't be scared. It'll only be one, two, three small stitches", I counted with my fingers.  
The boy shook his head and started crying. "Mommy", he sobbed and grabbed his mother's hand. "What's your name?", I asked trying to calm him down. "Lewis", he mumbled hardly audible.

**_Beca's POV:_ **

I was pretty sure that had been Chloe's voice in front of my door. Why hadn't she come in? Did I do anything wrong to her?  
I really wanted to see her since I was feeling very well today.  
I even managed to put on some make up.  
Apparently she wasn't as keen on seeing me as I was on seeing her...


	16. Getting it on.

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

"Okay Lewis. I will show you something", I began. "When I was your age, even younger, I fell on a brick and had a huge cut on my forehead just like you do. I also had to get three little stitches and now all that's seen is a little scar right here", I explained to the young patient and pointed at the scar on my forehead, "It will be alright okay? I will be very careful with your little head."

I managed to make him stop crying and stitched his wound.

"Well done, I'm proud of you", I announced in a bubbly voice and gave the boy a high five. "Be careful with your scooter", I said and winked.

After the situation in the ER had calmed down I took the opportunity and sneaked away. It was already afternoon and I hadn't seen Beca yet so that's where I was going.

This time I reached her door and was able to knock without getting interrupted.

**_Beca's POV:_ **

I was thinking about Chloe. The feeling of having done something wrong to her haunted me since I hadn't heard anything from her today.

There was a knock on my door.  
"Come in", I expressed a little bit louder.  
It was the redhead. "Chloe hey! Why are you so late? Is everything alright? Did I do anything wrong?", I wanted to know from her as I sat up.

The doctor walked up to me and placed her finger on my chin. She lifted it up and kissed me onto my lips. Soft but deep. "You didn't do anything. I got paged and had to help in the ER", Chloe mumbled and we locked eyes.

She kissed me again but this time wilder and more passionate.

"I want you", she breathed into my ear and the goose bumps spread over my entire body.

Her lips reached my neck and I had to inhale deeply.  
"Ch...chloe...", I whispered, "th...this feels so g...good."  
She continued sucking my neck and it made me go crazy.

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

I accidentally left a hickey on Beca's neck. "Whoops", I said and bit my lip.  
Slowly I started putting off my clothes.  
When I was only in my pants and bra I felt the brunette's eyes on me. "Woah", she was amazed, "I've never seen a hotter girl neither a sexier doctor than you!"

I took off her shirt as well. Her boobs had the perfect size.

We were only in underwear when I climbed on top of her. "Is this okay for you? Are you strong enough? Are you stable enough?", I wanted to make sure. "I haven't felt that well in days", she responded convinced.

I started kissing down her body and she was struggling to hold back her moans.  
My hand slid downwards and I could feel how wet she already was.

When she felt my touch a quiet moan escaped her mouth and I smirked before I opened her bra and threw away her underpants.

My lips were lingering on her stomach when I circled her center with the tip of my finger.

In the rush I had forgotten something important. I had forgotten to lock the door...


	17. Caught.

**_Beca's POV:_ **

"Chlo...please", I begged her when I couldn't stand the teasing anymore. The redhead shook her head and continued turning me on.

"I can't take it a...anymore", I said heavily.  
Finally she let two fingers slip inside of me.  
"Holy fuck", I moaned and pinched my fingers into the pillow.

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

Suddenly the door opened and Callie entered the room. When she saw us her tablet dropped to the floor and splintered into a thousand pieces. When I noticed her I jumped off Beca and the brunette pulled the blanket over her naked body. Luckily I was still in my underwear.

The black-haired woman stood there as if she was frozen before she managed to say something.  
"Doctor Beale", she stressed the first word.  
"I can explain", I began but my colleague didn't let me. "There is nothing to explain! You are in a hospital. You are a doctor, a surgeon, the most popular one in this area and this is your patient. Beca is suffering from heart failure AND what about Arizona?! You think you can just fuck around with your patients?! This will have consequences for you , Beale!", she hissed and with these words she left and slammed the door behind her.

"Please don't tell anyone", I shouted desperately but she didn't hear me and I guess even if she had she wouldn't have cared.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck", I expressed loudly and put my clothes back on.

"This is not only your fault", Beca tried to comfort me.

"But I'm carrying the consequences, Beca! Damn it. I shouldn't have done it!"

"So you refer to it as a mistake now?", the brunette wanted to know.

"Of course I do!", I clarified angrily.

"Woah okay", Beca accepted and watched me putting my hair into a bun.  
Without a word I walked away and out of the door.

And there it was. The announcement echoing through the halls of the hospital: "Doctor Beale into my office! Now!"

Nervously I made my way to the chief's office.

What was gonna happen? Will I get suspended for a few days? Will I get taken away the permission to operate for a few days? Will Beca no longer be my patient?

Lots of questions were running through my head.

When I arrived at the office the door was wide open. There she was. Miranda Bailey, chief of Grey-Sloan Memorial hospital.  
She was working on some paperwork so I knocked at the door frame. The chief looked up. "Come in. Close the door", the black woman ordered harshly. She pointed at the chair and I sat down.  
I cleared my throat and wanted to say something but Doctor Bailey was faster.

"I heard you slept with a patient?", she said in an unbelievable voice.

"Yes, Ma'am", I replied being slightly ashamed.

"Do you think this is okay?", the chief wanted to know from me.

"No", it left my mouth.

"Are you aware of the rules, Doctor Beale?", she kept asking and I got more uncomfortable with every question.

"I am", I responded and looked at the ground.

"Then what in the world made you think I'd be okay to do what you did?", the chief raised her voice, "you are such a sweet and kind woman and a brilliant surgeon! I never thought I'd ever have you sitting here because of something like this!"

"I'm sorry, chief", I apologized.

She stood up. "This is not something you apologize for and everything is fine again", she made clear, "you endangered the health of the patient and you have drawn the honor of this hospital into the dirt!"

"Chief I ca..."

"Doctor Beale, you are no longer part of this hospital. You are fired", her words hit me like a gunshot.


	18. Letting go is hard.

**_Chloe's POV:_ **

"I...I...am...what?", I stuttered.

"You are fired", Bailey repeated.

"You can't fire me! Not because of such a little mistake", I protested and stood up, looking her right into the eyes.

"A little mistake?", she wondered and laughed sarcastically, "I can't believe it, Doctor Beale! This was a huge mistake! Yes, it hurts losing you, since you are by far the best in this hospital but I have no choice. So please grab all of your stuff and leave."

Tears were rolling down my cheeks. I had lost my job.  
I loved this job. I have learned so much during the last years in this hospital. I have met amazing people.  
I didn't want it to be over. And what about Beca?

I left the chief's office and headed to the attending's room. There I took all my things out of my locker and changed into my normal clothes. I sat down and let the flashbacks hit me. All those things that had happened here.

I wasn't sure whether to visit Beca before I left or not. I had been rude towards her. All this wasn't her fault.  
I should apologize to her or maybe I should try and forget about her, since this was the best opportunity to do so.

With tears in my eyes I left the building and hopped into my car. It was already dark outside and I glanced at the illuminated windows of the hospital. I knew exactly which window was the one of Beca's room.  
I broke down. Tears started flooding my face and I couldn't keep quiet. I screamed out all the pain. This place had been what was keeping me steady all those years. It's where I met my first love and where I understood what friendship really meant.  
Grey-Sloan Memorial had given me a purpose. Now I was forced to let it go.

When I had dried my tears a little I started the engine of my car. With a feeling of numbness I was driving through the night.  
The streetlights were shining bright, almost blinding me.

When I parked in front of my house I got out of the car and searched for the keys in my bag. I couldn't find them. After 10 minutes of searching I found them in my jacket.  
I was inside when I reached for my phone in the backpocket of my jeans.

 **Me:** _I got fired. I'm sorry for everything.  
I wish you all the best.  
And I'll keep praying for a transplant.  
You lit up my world...  
but you are not good for me.  
It's better better if we go separate ways.  
I'm sorry. Stay strong._

I hesitated to press 'send'. Was this really supposed to be the end? Did I really want to let her go?  
I clicked the arrow and the message was sent. I took a deep breath before I blocked and deleted her contact from my phone...


	19. Break up.

_**Beca's POV:**_  
  
When I checked my phone I had a message from Chloe, I smiled but that changed when I read what was written in it.  
  
 **Chloe️:** _I got fired._  
 _I'm sorry for everything._  
 _I wish you all the best._  
 _And I will keep praying for a transplant._  
 _You lit up my wolrd..._  
 _but you are not good for me._  
 _It's better if we go separate ways._  
 _I'm sorry. Stay strong._  
sent 9:21pm  
  
I panicked and immediately texted something back.  
  
 **Me:** _Chloe, no. Please._  
 _Don't leave me alone._  
sent 9:34pm  
  
When I realized she had blocked me I couldn't hold back my tears.  
I had fallen in love with this redhead. I needed her. I couldn't do it without her. She had made me strong.  
  
  
 _ **Chloe's POV:**_  
  
"CHLOE FUCKING BEALE", Arizona's voice echoed through the living room.  
  
She has stood in front of my door when I was about to go to bed.  
  
"IS IT TRUE?! IS IT TRUE WHAT I GOT TOLD?!", she wanted to know and accidentally threw the vase off the table.  
  
I wasn't prepared. I had completely forgotten about my girlfriend.  
  
"Listen...I didn't mean to", I began. "I DIDN'T MEAN TO DOESN'T COUNT. HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?!", she asked furiously, "I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU AND ME FOREVER. I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME."  
  
I shut my eyes for a second before I answered her: "I do love you, but I'm not in love with you anymore. Yes, I know what I did was wrong and I'm apologizing."  
  
Arizona didn't calm down at all. She kept yelling: "YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HONEST. YOU SHOULD HAVE ENDED THINGS WHEN YOU LOST FEELINGS. I KNEW ALL ALONG THAT THERE HAD BEEN SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU. AND CHEATING IS ONE THING BUT WITH A PATIENT, CHLOE, WITH A PATIENT?!"  
Her anger turned into disappointment.  
  
"I wasn't sure about my feelings and I didn't want to hurt you", I explained trying to take her hand, but she pulled away.  
  
"This is the end", the blonde said, a little bit calmer now, "but I'm not done with you."  
The last sentence sounded evil and left me confused.  
  
I wanted to say something back but Arizona was already out of the door.  
  
I sunk to the ground and covered my face with my hands before I started sobbing.  
Everything I had built up was gone, within a few hours. I had lost everything that ever meant something to me. With watery eyes I collected the shards of the broken vase from the ground, when I accidentally cut my finger on one of the sharp edges.  
"Damn it", I mumbled and watched a drop of blood falling onto the carpet.  
  
It made me feel something I hadn't felt in years and the flashbacks of my teenage years hit me. They were running through my head and I couldn't move. It was like a trance.  
  
When I was younger I had been suffering from severe depression and extreme anxiety.  
I had struggled with self-harm and lived through several suicide attempts.  
When I started med-school everything had gotten better and I had learned to truly live and enjoy life again.  
  
Until now. Right now the pictures in my head were dragging me into a hole. I wanted to escape but I couldn't. I was trapped in my own mind. A flood of horrible thoughts overcame me. I had no control.  
  
I was still holding a piece of the vase in my hand when the voices in my head forced me to place it on my wrist.  
  
I fought. I tried everything in my power to resist this urge.  
  
Finally and right in time I succeeded.  
  
Slowly my trembling hand let go of the shard and it dropped to the floor.  
Shocked and completely overwhelmed of what had just happened I took a few deep breaths.  
I didn't want that. I didn't want to fall into old habbits...


	20. Empty.

_**Chloe's POV:**_  
  
Weeks passed and all I could think about was the brown-haired, blue-eyed girl who had stolen my heart. I was worrying about her and I didn't even know if she was still alive since I didn't dare to contact or visit her. It was killing me.  
  
I was sitting on the sofa, scrolling through the internet, trying to find any job offers when I started to feel hungry. I went to the kitchen and made myself some bread with marmalade. I tried to eat it but I couldn't. My mind didn't let me. It was full of worry and bad thoughts. Thoughts I shouldn't be thinking about.  
  
This had been going on for a while. I felt myself becoming skinnier from day to day. My weight kept dropping and I couldn't really do anything about it.  
  
All I wanted was to be in her arms. I wanted to feel her close to me. I wanted to hear her voice and I wanted her lips against mine. I knew it was wrong to want that. I knew I had to forget about her. But deep down she was everything I wanted.  
  
I felt alone. I felt empty. I felt lost. Everything was heavy. Every little move seemed to be so exhausting and my motivation was gone.  
  
I switched off my laptop and laid down. I was staring at the white ceiling wondering if things would ever be okay again. It felt like everything was going into the wrong direction, like a train on it's way to the edge of a cliff and I wasn't able to stop it or hop off.  
  
But most of the time I was feeling numb and this feeling of numbness was more dangerous than anything else. It made me want to feel things and the only thing I could make myself feel was pain. That's how I began falling into old habbits.  
  
My phone rang and I almost jumped. For a moment I had hoped it'd be Beca but then I remembered that it couldn't be. I glanced at the screen. It was Meredith.  
"Hey Beale, it's Mer", she greeted me.  
"Oh hey", I was surprised since it was the first time she was calling me since the day I got fired. "I'm sorry I didn't call. I was so busy with work. Actually I just wanted to let you know that I found some more clothes of you. They were in my locker because of that one day you had forgotten your key. I will place them on the table in the attending's room. You can cone pick them up the next days", she explained and didn't sound that happy.  
"Ah ok, thanks, I will", I responded.  
"Okay then, bye", she announced and before I could say anything back Doctor Grey had hung up.  
  
Was she serious? First of all she hadn't even called me once those last weeks until now and now she's called me only to tell me I have forgotten something at my old work place? I thought she was my friend. I thought she'd be here for me. I didn't think anything could ever change something about our friendship. Obviously I had been wrong.  
  
I was debating on whether to drive to the hospital right now in order to get it done or to wait until tomorrow.  
I decided to go immediately and dragged myself into the car...


	21. A visit.

_**Chloe's POV:**_  
  
I entered the hospital through the huge main entrance. It was busy as always.  
I took the stairs up to the 3rd floor where the surgeon's attending's room was. I opened the door and spotted the clothes on the table. I picked them up and put them in my handbag.  
  
When I was about to turn around and leave I noticed someone sitting in the comfortable armchair.  
"Chloe, what are you doing here?", a voice asked. It was Owen.  
  
"Just grabbing my stuff. Don't worry, I'll be gone in a second", I clarified and smiled weakly.  
  
"You are missing here", the red-haired man admitted.  
  
"It's my own fault", I said without any expression.  
  
"You don't look really well", the doctor said and eyed me from my hair to my toes. I shrugged and headed out of the room.  
  
I tried to resist the urge of checking up on Beca. I needed to stay away from her. I needed to cut her out of my life. But it was impossible. Only seconds later I found myself in front of her room.  
  
_**Beca's POV:**_  
  
Since the day Chloe had left everything was different. The doctors seemed to be  
impolite, the food tasted even worse, and I was in much more pain, mentally as well as physically. All the good vibes and the hope had been washed away. Every day was the same.  
  
I was taking a nap when I got woken up by a knock on my door. Tiredly I rubbed my eyes. The door opened and I couldn't believe who I saw.  
  
I was looking right into the gorgeous face of my once so loved, red-haired doctor. "Hey", she mumbled and moved closer towards my bed. Chloe looked exhausted and not healthy at all.  
  
"What happened to you?", I wondered and felt my heart break at the sight of her. She had become so skinny I was able to see her bones sticking out on some parts of her body. She was pale and big eye bags were resting below her eyes.  
  
"Nothing, I'm fine. How are you? Are you in pain?", the girl tried to change the subject. "I'm okay. I mean, yes, I'm getting weaker and weaker but that's something nobody can do anything about", I explained and didn't take my eyes off her.  
  
"I've missed you", I said hardly audible but I knew she had understood. "I'm sorry for leaving you like that. I wanted to forget you. I wanted to never see you again. But here I am, crawling back to you because I cannot live without you anymore", the ginger expressed her feelings and laughed sarcastically, not quite believing what she was saying.  
I grabbed her arm, wanting to pull her closer when her sleeve slid up. For a moment everything around me froze. Immediately she pulled it down again.  
  
"Chloe", I began, "I saw it."  
She cleared her throat and tried to phrase a sentence: "It's...n...not...not...wh...what...it...l...lo...looks...like."  
  
I pulled up her sleeves on both of her arms. "Don't lie to me. I know what it is because it is exactly what it looks like", I made clear and had to hold back my tears.  
"What is wrong with you? How much harm do you wanna cause yourself? Have you seen yourself? When was the last time you ate properly?", I wanted to know and a tear rolled down my cheek. "I don't even know", the redhead muttered. "And you don't even care", I added quietly...


	22. Pure Intention.

_**Chloe's POV:**_  
  
My eyes were fixed on the wall behind Beca.  
  
"Come on, talk to me", the brunette said, raising her voice slightly.  
  
Eventually I gave in and let myself down on her bed. I started explaining everything, beginning in my teenage years.  
  
"Sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear about that. But what about now? How did you fall into this dark hole again?", she asked politely and took my right hand into hers.  
  
"Beca, I've lost everything. My job, my girlfriend, my friends, my will to live. I also lost you because I thought it'd be better if I just forgot about you but there hasn't gone a day by on which I didn't think of you and worried myself to death about you. I didn't dare to come back because I didn't want you to see how weak all this has made me. There are voices in my head. This illness has never been gone. I just learned to control it and right now it's completely out of control", my voice cracked.  
  
"Hey hey shhh. We will get through this alright? I'm here for you", the girl made sure and took me in her arms. "But why? I just left. I've hurt you", I cried, almost panicking. "Yes, you've hurt me but you mean a lot to me. I forgive you, Chlo", she whispered and stroked my head, "I'm glad you came back."  
  
We were just lying there for a couple of minutes without anyone saying a word until Beca broke the silence again: "I would like to get you professional help as well." I lifted my head and looked her in the eyes. "Is that really necessary?", I wanted to know and wiped my wet cheeks. "It is. I don't want you to go to a clinic but therapy at least. This can't go on", her words sounded worried. I nodded in agreement. I felt so safe in her arms that I didn't even know how I had managed to be without her.  
  
"I know a good therapist. She's a friend of mine and she's really nice, believe me. I will call her and make an appointment for you okay?", Beca pointed out. "Thank you", I mouthed and gave her a kiss on the cheek.  
  
Seconds later her lips were on mine.  
  
I broke the kiss and stood up. "I really don't want to get caught again. I mean, you're not my patient anymore, so technically it's no problem but everybody here already hates and I don't want to cause any more problems", I excused myself, "so I better get going now. I will visit you again tomorrow."  
Beca made a sad face and I had to smile.  
"I'm a little bit scared letting you go and stay home alone", she admitted.  
"I'll be alright", I clarified and waved at her. "Wait. Promise me you will eat something and please unblock me. If anything is up, even if it's only the tiniest thing, you call me instantly", the sick brunette ordered. I promised before I made my way out.  
  
As I exited the hospital, I saw Arizona walking towards me. She must have been on her way to her night shift. The blonde walked passed me and I stumbled over her leg. She kept walking but I was able to hear her laugh. This had been pure intention...


	23. A heart.

  
  
_**Beca's POV:**_  
  
After Chloe had left Doctor Avery entered my room. "How are we feeling today?", he wanted to know. "Pretty okay" ,I replied and put the blanket away so he could check on my heart. "It's beating a little slower than yesterday but that should still be sufficient", the man announced, "but I also have some good news for you, Miss Mitchell."  
  
_**Chloe's POV:**_  
  
Even if Arizona's move had been a cruel one I really felt a lot better after visiting Beca.   
  
At home I threw myself onto the couch and started Netflix. I had grabbed some grapes, which I actually managed to eat. Only 15 minutes into the movie my phone rang. It was the brunette I had unblocked immediately after my visit at the hospital. Before I was able to say something she screamed into my ear: "CHLOE THEY GOT A HEART FOR ME!"   
  
My lips formed into a bright smile and I had to cover my mouth so I wouldn't burst out in too much, loud joy. "OH MY GOD, THAT'S GREAT. I'M SO GLAD, BECS", I shouted when I found my words again.  
  
"I KNOW RIGHT?! I CAN LIVE! CHLOE I WILL LIVE!", her voice sounded and I noticed how she struggled not to start crying. "It's from another country far away, so they'll only be able to do the surgery in three days but that's okay. I mean I'll make three more days but WOW I'M GETTING A NEW HEART", Beca explained to me.  
  
"You really deserve it. See I told you holding on would be worth it", I said and giggled. "Thank you. You have made me strong. Without you I wouldn't have been able to make it this far", she made clear and I started blushing. "You don't have to thank me, really", I made sure and put my TV on silent.  
  
"I wish you could do my surgery", the happy girl let me know and now sounded a little bit sad. "I wish that too. If I could I would gladly do it but I can't", I told her and zoned out for a second, thinking about the hundreds of surgeries I had successfully done so far. "Chlo?", Beca asked wanting to know if I was still on the phone. "Yes, sorry. I'm here", I pointed out.  
  
"I'll come over tomorrow as I said", I reminded her. "Yeah. Are you okay? Did you eat?", the heart patient wanted to know and changed the subject. "I am. I ate some grapes", I mumbled knowing what was about to come. "That's not enough", Beca spoke out disappointedly. "I know that. But I can't eat more at the moment. I'm trying my best. It takes time", I grumbled. "Alright. I'm sorry. I will see you tomorrow", she ended the conversation. "See you tomorrow", I wanted to hang up when I heard Beca saying something. It was quiet and I probably wasn't supposed to hear it.  
  
"I love you", her soft voice breathed before the call ended.  
  
I was shook and my cheeks pretty red. Did she just say she loved me? Maybe I understood it the wrong way. Should I talk to her about it tomorrow? Better not. I didn't want to make things awkward. I covered my face in both of my hands and smiled, truly smiled.


	24. Risky ideas.

_**Beca's POV:**_  
  
The next day I was excitedly waiting for Chloe.  
I didn't feel really well and the night had been rough. "Three more days, Beca", I said to myself and inhaled deeply.  
  
"Good morning", Chloe shouted happily when she burst into the room. "Morning", I managed to answer. "Today is not the best huh?", Chloe noticed and came closer. I nodded and let her hug me.  
  
"I brought you some breakfast", the redhead declared and unpacked the paper bag she had brought with her. "I didn't know what you like so I got different things", she explained, "I got a croissant, a piece of cake and some donuts."  
"I'll take the croissant. Thank you", I expressed my gratitude and bit into the golden croissant. "You should eat something as well", I ordered and handed her one of the donuts. "Oh, I'm not hungry", the ginger tried to avoid it.  
  
"Chloe!", her name left my mouth a little bit louder. She winced and without another word she started eating. "See, it will give you the energy you need", I pointed out and stroked her arm.  
  
"By the way I called the therapist for you. She said she'd gladly try to help you.  
Your therapy starts on Wednesday at 2pm. It's every week at the same time", I told her and I could tell that she wasn't impressed. "Okay, thanks", Chloe mumbled and chewed her food.  
"I really want you to go. Her name is Aubrey Posen and her clinic is near this hospital. It will help you, I promise", I tried to convince her. "I know, I will go", the redhead replied, slightly annoyed.  
  
My head became heavier and I struggled to stay conscious. When Chloe recognized she felt my pulse. "Your heart is racing", she yelled in shock, "This is not a good sign." She pressed the red button next to the bed for help. "Stay with me. Keep your eyes open", I heard her voice.  
  
_**Chloe's POV:**_  
  
The door opened and Doctor Avery and a resident rushed in. "Jackson, she doesn't have three more freaking days. She needs this damn heart", I shouted. "Chloe, this is not your place to boss around anymore. I'm aware of the fact that Miss Mitchell doesn't have time anymore. But the transplant is in the New World Hospital in Russia and right now no one has the time to fly there to pick it up in bring it here. Too many patients and not enough doctors. And now step back", the man clarified obviously pissed off and hella stressed.  
  
"Excuse me?! Are you serious!?", I wanted to know from him, "So you're just gonna wait and watch her die because you're all too overwhelmed with your job?!"  
He turned away from Beca and looked at me. His face told me that he wasn't that happy.  
"Watch your mouth and let me do my job", the doctor hissed.  
  
Suddenly an idea came to my mind.  
"I can go fly over and get the transplant", the words gushed out of my mouth.  
  
"I can't let you do that. You'd have to fly with our jet and that's not possible because you are no longer employed in this hospital", Jackson announced.  
"Please. I can't watch her die. I need to do something", I pointed out desperately and tears started to build in my eyes. He thought for a minute, since he knew that there basically wasn't another chance.  
  
"Okay listen. I will get you into this jet. But this has to stay a secret. If anybody finds out, I will lose my job as well and Beca's time will have run up", he made clear and I nodded.  
  
"Be ready in an hour. We'll meet in the on-call room. Make sure nobody sees you.  
I put Miss Mitchell on some new medication. It will hopefully keep her stable for a few more hours", the doctor phrased and headed out of the room.  
  
Beca had fallen asleep and her heavy breathing filled the room.  
"Hold on a little longer", I whispered and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead...


	25. Flight to Russia.

_**Chloe's POV:**_  
  
An hour later I sneaked into the on-call room, making sure nobody had seen me.  
  
Only a few minutes later Doctor Avery got there as well. "Are you ready?", he wanted to know from me and handed me one of those doctor outfits, "Wear this."  
  
After I had changed clothes I was ready to go. "Okay, this is the plan...as soon as we leave this room, we'll rush into the elevator to the left. We'll go all the way up to the roof, where the jet is waiting. You'll hop in and you'll be flown to New World Hospital in Russia. The heart is ready to be picked up so when you are there you just need to ask for...", he began but I interrupted him:  
"Jackson, I know how to get a transplant. I've been a doctor for quite a few years even if I'm not working here anymore."  
  
He raised one of his brows and I slowly started opening the door. No one was on the hallway. "Go", I whispered and the two of us ran to the elevator. I pressed the button and nervously waited for it to open.  
  
When we reached the last floor, the roof of the building, we got out and my red hair was blowing in the wind.  
"There you go", the man shouted and pointed to the small airplane, "Be safe and text me when you get back. I'll be here to make sure nobody sees you."  
I couldn't help but smile. "Thank you, Jackson", I said and gave the young doctor a hug. "No need to thank me. I will have to thank you", he responded.  
  
I jumped into the machine and put on my seatbelt.  
  
The flight took several hours and all I could think about was Beca. I needed to save her. I needed to have her in my life.  
  
When I arrived at the russian hospital I stepped into the elevator down to the first floor where the reception was.  
  
"Hello, I'm Doctor Beale. I'm from Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital in Seattle and I'm here to pick up the transplant for Miss Beca Mitchell", I introduced myself. The woman sitting behind the counter looked at me in confusion. "No English?", I asked and took a deep breath. The woman made a weird face shook her head.  
"Ugh", I muttered and turned around.  
  
After ages of asking around this place I finally held the box with the transplant in my hand.  
  
On my flight back I texted Jackson.  
  
**Me:** _I'll be there in a few hours._  
sent 3:35pm  
  
The jet landed and I hopped off, approaching the male doctor, who had been waiting for me.  
"Hey, did it go well?", he wondered and I nodded. "Here", I replied and showed him the white box. "I'm glad, Chloe. As soon as we reach the third floor, right into the on-call room okay?", Doctor Avery made clear and we made our way to the lift.  
  
"Will you bring Beca into the OR immediately?", I wondered when I changed back into my normal clothes.  
"No, the earliest her surgery can take place is tomorrow morning. She has to stay strong one more night", he explained.  
  
"But what if she doesn't make it through the night?"


	26. You are a fighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Sorry this is a shorty, it's kinda a filler? Well it is what it is.**
> 
> **I hope you all enjoy the story so far.**

_**Chloe's POV:**_  
  
"Hey, I'm back", I said when I entered Beca's room. The sight of her had me in tears. Her eyes were closed but I could see her chest rise and fall. I sat down next to her. I took her hand and for a second I was able to feel her tight grip. "I know you are tired. But you have come so far. Beca, you're a fighter. If anybody can make it then it's you. Please don't give up. I want to get to know you better and I want to spend so much time with you but if you let go now then this won't be possible. There is so much ahead of you. Believe me, it's worth holding on", I sobbed and kissed her soft hand. I remembered yesterday's phone call. "I love you too, Beca Mitchell", I breathed.  
  
I was checking my phone when I heard silent whimpers. It was Beca. "What did you say", I asked and put my phone away immediately. "Chloe...", I managed to understand, "It hurts."  
  
"I know it does, I wish I could take your pain away", I answered sadly.  
"Let me just give up...", the brunette mumbled weakly. "Beca no no no no. I'm not letting you give up. We're almost there. One more night", I tried to convince her.  
  
"But what if the new heart doesn't adjust or work in my body?", she wanted to know and closed her eyes again. "I'm sure everything will turn out just fine", I was optimistic.


	27. A big step.

_**Beca's POV:**_  
  
I wanted to give up. I wanted to let go. I wanted to get away from all this pain.  
What if I just stopped breathing? The world wouldn't be any different without me , right? I was so tired. I couldn't move any of my body parts. I felt my heart beating slowly and irregular.  
It was the end.  
  
  
 _ **Chloe's POV:**_  
  
I watched Beca and I recognized her trying to give up.  
  
That's where my good sense left me. It was the middle of the night. I sneaked out of the door and searched for all the things I could possibly need, in the whole hospital. Then I went to the room where the transplants where kept. It was locked but luckily I still knew the code. I looked right and left making sure nobody saw me. I went in and searched for the white box with Beca's name on it.  
  
"Leon Camp, Marvin White", I read the names on the different boxes. "Beca Mitchell. There it is", I said to myself and grabbed it without hestitation.  
  
When I got back to the girl I put away the blanket and switched on the lights. I needed as much light as possible.  
  
"Honey, I will put you under anesthesia and then I will save you", I announced and gave her a deep kiss. Then I narcotized her. I didn't have a lot of the remedy so I didn't have much time until she'd wake up again.  
  
Once she was asleep tightly,  
I disinfected my hands and took the scalpel into my right hand. My fingers trembled. "This has to work. I can't lose her and I can't afford fucking this up. Chloe you are a good doctor. You have transplanted dozens of hearts. You know the procedure. You can do it without OR and assistance", I reminded myself and took a deep breath.  
  
I placed the blade on the brunette's chest. And cut.  
  
Immediately my hands were covered in blood. I hadn't found gloves so my bare hands had to do. Carefully and kind of knowing what I was doing I operated the damaged and weak heart out of Beca's chest.  
I held it into my hands. "Why couldn't you be enough", I mumbled and placed it into the white box next to the transplant, before taking this one out.  
Skillfully I led it slid into her empty chest.  
I had only 10 minutes left before the anesthesia faded.  
Fast and hopeful I stitched the heart in place.  
  
This was the moment of truth. My eyes were fixated on the lightly red organ, waiting for it to start beating. "Come on", I muttered, "work."  
I placed my hands on it and softly started massaging. "Beat, please", I said, a little bit louder now.  
  
As if the heart had heard my words, the blood started flowing through the veins, turning it into a darker shade of red and only seconds later I noticed little, regular beats. A moment of joy overcame me.  
  
There was hardly any time left so without another moment of waiting I closed her and wrapped her chest in a bandage.  
I wiped away all of the blood and washed my hands. Then I put back on Beca's clothes. Mine were covered in blood stains.  
I covered her with her blanket and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead, before I cleaned the tools I had used. "Holy fuck, I'm so dead as soon as this comes out", I whispered to myself. I brought back all the things, excluding the box with the damaged heart. I kept that one here in Beca's room, otherwise it could only cause more trouble.  
  
Now I had to wait for her to wake up, hoping her body wouldn't reject the new organ...


	28. Secrets don’t last long.

_**Beca's POV:** _

My head was heavy and my eyes as well. I didn't have the strength to open them but I could hear Chloe's voice. "Damn it, this was a mistake. I made it even worse", she sounded desperate, "shit, shit, shit."

I was wondering what the redhead meant but then I realized something. Something inside of me felt different. So light and warm.

I heard the the doorknob being pulled down before a man's voice echoed through the room. I had no idea what time it was but he sounded tired so I guess it was night. "Chloe, you are still here? Have you left this room at all?", the male voice asked. "No, not really", Chloe seemed to be quite nervous. "I just wanted to check on Miss Mitchell. Is she still staying strong?", he wondered and I noticed his footsteps approaching me. "Uhm...y...yeah", the ginger stuttered.

I felt the cold stethoscope on my chest.  
"Woah strong heartbeat, young lady", the doctor recognized in surprise. Now I noticed that it was Doctor Hunt who was talking.

He couldn't believe the surprisingly strong heart and kept listening to the steady rythm."That's so weird", Owen announced. "Wh..what is weird?", I heard Chloe asking. "That heart. It's supposed to be close to dying and now it's suddenly beating stronger and healthier than ever", the man stated.

_**Chloe's POV:** _

The doctor looked around the room when he noticed a white box halfway behind the wooden shelf next to the window.

"What is that? Why is there an 'organ-box" kept in this room?", he wondered and let go of Beca, walking towards the shelf, picking up the box. He opened it and looked right at a sick, damaged heart. "Oh my god. Where the fuck is the damn transplant?", he yelled in disbelief.

I knew denying anything now wouldn't make it better so I spilled out the truth.

"Inside of her body", I responded, scared of what the male doctor was going to say next.

"How?! When did this surgery happen? And why the hell would the old heart be kept here?", he wanted to know being completely confused.

"I did this surgery", I let him know.

"Chloe you are not working here anymore, who the hell has let you use one of the ORs?", if it was possible, I'm sure his head would have formed a question mark right now.

"No OR. I did this surgery here, in this room. About two hours ago. On my own", I replied and played with my hands.

The tall guy was speechless. When he found his words again he was rather worried than mad: "You can't do that. First of all you do not work in this hospital and surgeries are only allowed to take place in ORs. I mean look at this room, those aren't hygienic circumstances. Why did you do that?"

"Because she was dying, Owen. If it hadn't been done she would have been dead by now and since you all are too busy I had no choice. She means something to me. I didn't care and I still don't care about the consequences. But she needs to be alive. She had been waiting for a transplant for months and she deserved to get it. I mean look at what you are holding in your hands. This organ was keeping her alive and if you are the tiniest bit of a doctor you can see that it wouldn't have survived another hour", I shouted and the tears started dripping down my face, "I'm aware of the fact that you have to report this and I'm aware of the fact that maybe I'll be sent to prison for however this is gonna turn out. But I don't give a fuck. I knew what I was doing and I know that I did the right thing!"  
I tried wiping my tears away without destroying my mascara but I don't think it worked quite well.

"What is going on?", a soft voice asked. I turned to Beca and looked right into her confused face. "Thank god, oh lord, you are alive", I exclaimed and pulled her into my arms. "You have a new heartbeat, Beca", I told her and smiled before I took her hand and placed it on her chest, "Do you feel it? It's strong and it's healthy. You are ready to keep living life to the fullest again."

I looked back at Doctor Hunt.  
"See and that's why I did what I did. To give her the opportunity she would have lost if I hadn't done what I have done", I spoke to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****_ Hey everyone,  
> I'm curious what you think will happen to Chloe...let me know⬇️:)  _   
> 


	29. Will you be my girlfriend?

_**Beca's POV:**_  
  
I was so grateful that I couldn't even express my gratitude but I didn't really understand what Chloe and Owen were talking about. It seemed like Chloe had gotten in trouble. As soon as Doctor Hunt left the room I took the chance to ask: "What happened? Are you in trouble? What did you do?"  
  
"It was me, Beca. I transplanted your heart. On my own, in this bed", the redhead explained.  
  
My eyes widened in shock. "I had to. You would have died", she added and grabbed her bag, "I better get going."  
  
"You will come back, right?", I wanted to know and I noticed my watery eyes.  
"Yes, if I don't end up in jail by tomorrow", Chloe laughed but I recognized the fear and the sadness in her voice.  
  
"Come her", I said.  
I kissed her deeply and my heart started beating faster, but in a good way, because I was nervous for what I was about to say:  
  
"Chloe Beale, you are my hero. You have done so much for me. Everything. As my doctor and as my friend. You have got yourself in danger just to save my life. I don't even know how to express how I'm feeling about this. But fact is that every time I look at you I get lost in your dreamy eyes and every time our lips touch I forget everything around me and the butterflies in my stomach get all tingly. I fell for you and every day I fall for you over and over again. I've never seen a more gorgeous, sweeter and braver girl than you. I love the scent of your hair and the sound of your soothing voice. I love you, Chloe. You saved my life and I don't want to spend the rest of it without you by my side. So I'm asking you...will you be my girlfriend?"  
  
Silence filled the room and minutes passed without anyone saying a word. I started regretting the feelings I had just expressed because I began feeling convinced that the ginger didn't feel the same way.  
  
"I do", Chloe's voice echoed, "more than anything", and her lips formed a little smile, before she jumped up and headed out of the door.  
  
I was lying there, in the bed I had been lying in for the last few months and for the first time I felt hopeful and complete, knowing that I would get out of here soon having my favorite person by my side.  
  
  
_**Chloe's POV:**_  
  
Beca's words had melted my heart. It had taken me some time to reply because I couldn't quite believe what was coming out of her mouth.  
I had to leave anyways.  
  
I was making my way through the huge hallway, hoping not to run into the chief.  
  
I stopped when I saw Owen and Miranda Bailey approaching me.  
"Damn it", I mumbled.  
  
"Beale!", the chief's voice yelled my last name. I looked at Owen shaking my head slightly. "I'm so sorry, I had to", he mouthed apologetic.  
  
"Yes?", I replied when the two stood in front of me. I grabbed my handbag tighter and I felt my stomach turning upside down.  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
>  __  
>  I guess that's what you'd been waiting for 🙂    
>    
>  **


	30. Out of love.

_**Chloe's POV:**_  
  
"Is it true?", Doctor Bailey asked skeptically. I nodded and the pictures of me spending the rest of my life in jail flashed before my eyes. "Chloe what the hell? When did you become like this? You used to be such a reliable and mature woman", the woman stated and looked at me with big eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry", was all I managed to respond. I was prepared for the worst but the chief took me by surprise.  
  
"Look...what you did was wrong, very wrong and irresponsible. You are not part of this hospital anymore and even if you were it would have still been a dick move. You could have killed that woman. Never the less I know that you did it to save her life. And you succeeded. I know your intentions weren't bad.  
I'm forbidding you to enter this hospital for the next weeks, hoping you will understand that once again you made a mistake which could have ended deadly. But I'm not gonna report you to the police", Miranda explained and a sigh of relief left my body.  
  
"Thank you, chief", I expressed my gratitude and pulled her into a hug. "Yeah yeah, and now leave and just keep it to yourself", she added and gave a look which literally made me want to leave.  
  
 _ **Beca's POV:**_  
  
I couldn't stop smiling. All I wanted to do was leave this stupid hospital and be with Chloe. I felt so strong and capable of everything.  
  
When Doctor Avery entered the room he didn't seem to be surprised so I guess someone had told him about Chloe and my transplant.  
  
"When can I go home?", I asked him in excitement. "If everything stays the way it is you can leave the hospital tomorrow", he answered and gave me a smile.  
  
"Can I ask you something?", I wondered and sat up straight in my bed. "Sure", the man replied and watched me trying to find the right words. "Do you think Chloe fucked up? Do you think she'll have to face horrible consequences?", I wanted to know from the ex-colleague of the redhead  
  
"Well what she did was something dangerous and really wrong but she had good intentions and she succeeded. I do think Bailey won't be too hard on her. As long as she doesn't find out that it was Chloe as well who picked up your new heart from another country", he pointed out.  
  
"What?", I was surprised  
  
"I know Chloe. She actually is a really emotional person. She is very decent and always honest. What she did was out of her comfort zone and she wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for you. She loves you", the doctor announced and I couldn't help but get lost in my thoughts about the ginger.  
The surgeon checked my blood pressure and my heartbeat before he left again.  
  
I tried to call Chloe wanting to know if she already knew what was going to happen to her. I couldn't forgive myself if she had to suffer for saving my life.


	31. Therapy (Part 1).

_**Beca's POV:**_  
  
"Hello?", Chloe's voice sounded through the phone when she picked up. "Hey Chloe, it's me. I wanted to know how things turned out?", I asked and nervously waited for any reaction, hoping for the answer I wanted to hear.  
  
"Well I was pretty lucky. Bailey didn't report me to the police. I'm just not allowed to set a foot into Grey-Sloan-Memorial for the next weeks", the girl explained and I couldn't be more glad. "Do you already know when you can leave?", the redhead added and I told her what Doctor Avery had said. "That sounds great", she responded happily. "It's Wednesday tomorrow, don't forget your appointment", I exclaimed and all I got to hear from the other side was silence, which told me she had forgotten and hated that I had just reminded her of it.  
  
"Chlo?", I said slightly louder. "Yehess", the annoyed sounds of her voice echoed.  
  
  
_**Chloe's POV:**_

  
This damn appointment. I didn't want to go there but I knew I had to do it for Beca. I didn't want her to worry about me. I mean I had already gained some pounds of weight again and my scars were slowly fading.  
  
"You promised you'd go", the brunette said and I exhaled. "I will go, Beca", I let her know. "I need to hang up now. Please text me if something's up and when you get out of hospital. Love you", I added before I hung up.  
  
_**The next day**_  
  
It was 1:30pm and I hadn't heard anything from Beca yet, regarding the time of her getting released from the place and bed she had spent the last months in.  
  
I was getting ready for therapy and I was standing in front of the mirror when a wave of insecurity hit me. Suddenly I realized that the reason why I didn't want to go to this appointment was not because I thought it was unnecessary but because I was scared, scared to open up.  
Scared of getting judged and scared of breaking down.  
  
I changed clothes about ten times and did my makeup three times before I was okay to go.  
  
When I arrived at the clinic I furrowed my brows. It wasn't what I had imagined.  
  
It was a small house. It looked really lovely and approachable. Maybe Beca had given me the wrong address. I shrugged, grabbed my hand bag and hopped out of the car. I walked up to the door and there was a little sign above the bell: 'Posen's Therapy'  
  
Obviously I was right.  
  
I touched my hair and put it in place before I carefully rang the bell. Only seconds later a tall, blonde woman opened the door. Had she been waiting behind it?  
  
"Hello, welcome you must be....", she began and stopped before reaching out to shake my hand. "I'm Chloe Beale", I replied and smiled awkwardly. "Glad you're here. I'm Aubrey Posen. Psychological therapist, specified in mental illnesses", the blonde explained and gave me a bright smile, "Come in."  
  
I entered the house and studied every corner. I had always thought my house was clean but this one topped everything.  
  
All the furniture was white. Everything seemed to be right in place and I didn't see a single particle of dust.  
  
"Follow me", Doctor Posen announced and lead me to a room in which two arm chairs were standing facing each other with a little table in between.  
A huge picture with a sunflower and shelves with statues ornamented the blank walls.  
  
"Take a seat", the woman offered me and I sat down in one of the arm chairs.  
  
"Thank you", I mumbled.  
  
"Do you want something to drink?", she wanted to know and I shook my head politely: "No, thanks."  
  
My hands started to shake and I began to feel nervous. I didn't feel ready to talk about the things that were going on in my head.  
  
"So...tell me about yourself first", Aubrey ordered and leaned back.  
  
I swallowed before I started speaking: "I'm 25 years old and I used to be a surgeon at Grey-Sloan-Memorial hospital. I'm a really emotional person but I don't always show it. In my free time I like to dance and bake."  
  
"That sounds interesting", the therapist answered, "Now...what brought you here, Chloe?"


	32. Therapy (Part 2).

_**Chloe's POV:**_  
  
Pictures started running through my head.  
  
"Uhm...I had to deal with severe depression in my teenage years and apparently I relapsed and my girlfriend Beca put me here", I began carefully.  
  
"Ahh Beca Mitchell. We went to school together.  
Tell me about your past", the tall said quietly.  
  
I decided to let it all go. Maybe it would really help.  
  
"It all started when I was about 11. I had always been smarter than all the other kids in school. I was more mature and saw things differently. I don't know why.  
One day when we got back our math test and I had an A, as usual, some girls of my class came up to me and tried to make me feel bad about my good grade. Things went their way and the girls started bullying me, until I had the whole class standing against me. It never got better. The bullying got worse and worse from day to day. I lost my will to live and started seeing everything in grey. Self-harm and suicide attempts were part of this journey", I opened up.  
  
"But things did get better eventually?", she wondered.  
  
"Yes, when I got out of school and into university everything somehow changed to the better. I became a great and successful surgeon at an amazing hospital. I found friends and love", I let her know.  
  
"What was the reason for your relapse?", Doctor Posen asked curiously while taking notes on a piece of paper.  
  
I told her about Beca's heart failure and about the bond  
we had shared since day one.  
I told her about me sleeping with Beca and the hospital firing me. How I lost all of my friends through that and I told her about the break up with Arizona.  
  
The hour went by pretty fast and I honestly felt kind of better after letting everything out.  
  
"Alright Chloe. Time's up. Thank you for sharing all this with me. Next week we'll talk about the exact way those things have made you feel", the woman spoke.  
  
"Thank you for listening", I said thankfully and stood up from my chair.  
  
"Of course, it's my job", she responded kindly. I cracked a smile and made my way to the door. "And be on time next week", the female therapist added.  
"I wasn't even late", I protested.  
"My dad used to say: 'If you are not gonna be on time, don't come at all'", she said back and handed me my jacket.  
"See you next wednesday", Aubrey announced. "Yeah", I answered, "take care."  
  
I grabbed my phone out of the handbag and noticed that Beca had tried to call me several times. "Shit", I mumbled and dialed her number, imagining every possible thing that could have happened.  
  
"Chlo?", the brunette answered the phone.  
"Oh god, Becs! I'm so sorry I had therapy. Is everything alright?!", I asked hysterically. "Yeah I'm standing in front of the hospital and I need you to pick my up. So please get your ass here. Thank you", she snapped and hung up. It wasn't a mean way of snapping. It was Beca's way of snapping and it was hilarious. I smiled and shook my head in amusement when I got into my car.  
  
"You're finally here. Only took you 5 years", Beca greeted me when she sunk into the passenger seat. "Hey Beca, it's great to see you too", I replied sarcastically and put on a pair of sunglasses since the sun was shining right in my eyes, "Be glad I'm here at all."  
  
"I'm sorry honey. Do you wanna have a kiss?", the small girl wanted to know and glanced at me. "Why are you even asking?", I questioned and she leaned over in order to give me a quick kiss. "Will you forgive me?", she asked and made that cute little puppy dog face. "Don't be so dramatic", I mumbled and we both burst out laughing.  
  
"I'm so glad you're out of that stupid bed. How are you feeling", I got a little more serious again. "I'm feeling better than ever. Thank you for saving my life, Chloe Beale", Beca pointed out and put a hand on my leg. "My pleasure", I whispered and smiled at her, admiring how beautiful she actually looked.  
  
"How was therapy?"  
  
"It was okay. I managed to open up to Doctor Posen", I explained to Beca. "I'm so proud of you babe", my girlfriend made clear and squeezed my leg a little to show me how much she cared about my health as well.  
  
"Okay where should I actually bring you? Home? Where do you even live?", I wondered. "Damn I don't really know anything about you", I realized shocked.


	33. Unpaid bills.

_**Beca's POV:**_  
  
"Hahah obviously. I'm living alone in a small apartment. It's not in the center of the city", I explained to the redhead and she started the engine of her car. "Alright. I will just drive and you'll tell me the way", she replied and the car drove out of the parking lot of the hospital.  
  
"You have to follow the street and turn right after that yellow house", I led her and after 15 minutes we reached the place I lived in. "Wow ehm it looks...strange", Chloe tried to express herself without offending me, "it's quite quiet here, isn't it?" I nodded: "It's really not the best but it's everything I can afford at the moment", I announced to her and took her by the hand, "Come on. We'll go inside!"  
  
I was unlocking the door, when I saw the mailbox overflowed with letters and papers. "Damn it", I mumbled and took everything out, struggling to hold it all at once. "I'll give you a hand", my girlfriend said and helped me carry the stuff. "Beca...", she began when she read the topics of what she was holding in her hands, "those are all unpaid bills..."  
  
I looked down trying to avoid her eyes.  
Without a word I walked up the stairs to the 5th floor where my apartment was. Chloe followed me. I opened the door and dropped all the papers on the shelf next to the door. The place looked like crap. Clothes on the floor, dirty and old furniture, an unfinished fast food meal on the table. "You are living like this?", the ginger asked, making a compassionate face. "Yeah", I said rubbing my forehead. "Do you even have a job, Beca?", Chloe wanted to know and made me look at her. "Yes I do. I'm working at a small bar but that's not enough to pay my bills", I defended myself, "To be honest I lost count of all the things I still have to pay."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?", the redhead wondered. "Because why would I? I was scared you wouldn't want me anymore if you found out how crappy my life actually is. I mean look at you. You are successful. You are a doctor, even if you don't have a job at the moment. I'm sure you live in a great house with everything I could ever dream of. I'm happy with what I have but I'm afraid you won't be happy with what I have and who I am", I pointed out, already regretting taking her here.  
  
"Are you kidding me? I don't care if you have a house or an apartment, if you are rich or poor, if you have unpaid bills or not. I care about you, Beca Mitchell. I love you for who you are as a person. And I will always be trying to help you. I can help you pay your bills and I can help you renovate this place", Chloe said sweetly. "I don't want you to pay my bills, Chlo. I can handle it. I will try to get a new job and..", I started but I got interrupted. "You are my girlfriend and I will help you, it's really not a problem. I'd love to help you. Look...why don't you move in with me? Then we can be together all the time and you don't have to pay any rent anymore", the redhead suggested, "also...this place really looks like a shithole."  
  
Her last sentence made me giggle. "I know but I really don't want to be a bother to you. We just got together and I just got out of hospital", I tried talking myself out. Not because I didn't want to but because I really didn't want to be a burden to Chloe or destroy anything by taking steps too fast.


	34. A hot mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This chapter contains sexual elements**

_**Chloe's POV:**_  
  
"Yes, alright I get it. But please accept my help whenever you need it, Becs. I'm here for you", I said to her and took both of her hands. I started taking small steps towards her, pushing her farther until she was pressed against the wall. I held her arms above her head, pinned to the cold wallpaper, and started kissing her deeply. The brunette didn't hesitate and let her tongue slip into my mouth. I managed to lose myself completely in our passionate kiss.  
  
Slowly and carefully I let go of her arms. Immediately she grabbed my waist and I skillfully traced my index finger down her body. From her neck to her belly button and all the way up again. I felt Beca's breathing become heavier. "Do you like that?", I whispered into her ear and my girlfriend nodded, a moan escaping her mouth.  
  
Before I could say a word Beca had thrown me onto the old, green, damaged couch taking control over me. "Hey", I protested but her hand reached my clit and my words got interrupted by a deep moan of mine. "Shh", she breathed and bit her lower lip, placing a finger on my mouth ordering me to be quiet. The girl started undressing me and herself.  
  
Tension started building between us and the next time her hand reached my skin I felt my whole body sending out immense feelings of joy. Her naked body was now lying on top of me and we were making out like teenagers. My right hand was lingering on her ass and the left one around her neck. Beca was supporting herself with her arms next to my head. A few minutes later her lips reached my neck and Beca started sucking gently, leaving little hickeys. I closed my eyes in order to feel it more intense. "Mmm", I exhaled. The brunette was working herself down my body. As if she had never done anything else in her life she licked down my body until she reached my thighs, making me shiver. I already felt like I couldn't take it anymore. When the tip of her tongue met my wet folds I gasped: "Oh god"  
  
My fingers were buried in her brown, soft hair while she was making me feel things I'd never felt before with her mouth between my legs. "Woah, Beca", I managed to say between heavy breaths. When she stopped I took the opportunity and dragged her back up to me again. "Kiss me", I mumbled and only seconds later her lips were lying on mine. I was trying to get to her clit with my hand but she pulled it away again. "Nah ah. It's my turn babygirl, not yours", her sexy voice filled the room.  
  
Now her left hand way lingering on my entrance and I was literally begging for her. "Please...fuck me", I said weakly and felt so many things at once. "There you go", my girlfriend let me know and thrusted into me. "Shit", I moaned and clawed my nails into the material of the sofa. Her thrusts were slow, getting faster every time I made a sound. I knew it wouldn't take long. "I'm so close", I whimpered and threw my head back, rolling my eyes in enjoyment.  
"Come for me, Chlo", Beca commanded. The wave of pleasure hit me and I screamed it all out, being sure the whole house must have have heard it. "Damn", I panted.  
I was flashed but couldn't wait to give Beca what she had just given me, so we switched positions and I worked my fantasies out on her.  
  
**——-**  
  
"Fuck fuck fuck, Chloe", the small girl moaned when two of my fingers now danced inside of her, "Please don't stop."  
I didn't. I kept going until my hand was feeling numb, enjoying the sounds my girlfriend was making.  
After a few minutes I finally had her at the edge. "Mmm keep going, keep going", I heard her beg when I felt her walls tighten around my fingers. Her body shook and a bright smile formed on my lips.  
  
"I love you", the brunette expressed when I was lying in her arms and gave me a soft kiss on my forehead. I stroke the side of her body: "I love you more"  
  
The couch was pretty uncomfortable but lying in Beca's arms made every place of the world the most comfortable one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
> _  
> Heyy,  
>  this chapter is way out of my comfort zone haha, pls don't judge, byeee 😁  
>   
>  _  
>  **  
>  __  
>   
> 


	35. Turning point.

_**Chloe's POV:**_  
  
As we were lying there next to each other, Beca tried to find a subject to talk about. "Have you already found a new job?", she wanted to know. I sat up in order to be able to talk more clearly. "No, not really. I can't find anything and to be honest it's pretty hard for me. Grey Sloan had been my safe place. I don't really want to work anywhere else", I explained and became a little sad. "But you can't keep sitting at home. It's not good for your health. You need structure in your day", the brunette told me.  
  
 **One week later**  
  
Therapy had been good and I was just getting home when I saw a person standing in front of my door. As I got closer I noticed the blonde hair.  
  
"Arizona?", I asked in confusion, "What are you doing here?" My ex-girlfriend furrowed her brow. "The question is...where have you been? I rang the bell about 50 times, sent you 20 messages and tried calling you!", she replied, quite pissed.  
  
I was debating on whether to tell her the truth or not but I decided not to. "I was out for lunch", I lied and crossed my arms in front of my body, "So what do you want?"  
  
"You still got my stuff. I want it back", Arizona pointed out coldly.  
  
"Seriously? You are that kind of person?", I wondered and rolled my eyes, "Whatever."  
  
I turned the key in the lock and opened the door. "Put off your shoes. I have cleaned the whole house just recently", I let her know and she did what I had ordered.  
While I was getting her stuff together the blonde was looking at pictures of Beca and me I had hung up on the walls.  
  
"You guys are moving pretty fast huh?", she expressed and had a skeptical look on her face. "You got a problem with that?", I asked her in return has I handed her the box with all of her stuff.  
  
"Chloe...", she began as she got closer to my face, "are you happy?" I looked her in the eyes. "Yes Arizona...I'm happy", I mumbled. She reached out and tucked a strand of my red, curled hair behind my ear. "I miss you, Chloe", the pediatric surgeon admitted, "I'm sorry for how I have reacted toward you."  
  
I couldn't believe her words. "What the hell", I hissed. "I think I made clear that you and me are done. Our relationship is past. I'm still sorry for the way you had to find out, but I won't come back to you . I love Beca!"  
  
"Don't lie to yourself. Deep down those feelings for me are still there. Come on, I was your first real love", the bubbly girl tried to convince me.  
  
"Yes you were but you are not my love anymore", I pointed out and dropped the box I had still been holding in my hands. The blonde took the opportunity and grabbed my face. She pressed her lips against mine and only seconds later I realized what was happening. I pushed her away. "Get out!", I yelled, "and take your damn things!"


	36. A new job?

_**Chloe's POV:**_  
  
"This is not the end, Chloe", Arizona mumbled and left my house. I slammed the door behind her.  
I really didn't want Beca to find out about this and I decided to just keep my mouth shut.  
  
My laptop received an e-mail. I opened the notification and read it through carefully while sticking one of my favorite sweets into my mouth.  
  
 _Dear Doctor Chloe Beale,_  
  
 _I've seen your application and your resume. You seem to be a qualified cardiac surgeon. We'd love for you to visit us in New York for a job interview to see if you're fitting into our team. Please let me know if you're accepting this offer._  
  
 _Sincerely,_  
 _Dr. Kate Summer_  
 _Chief of Lenox Hill Hospital, New York_  
  
I couldn't believe my eyes. The hospital in New York I had applied to a few weeks ago just invited me to a job interview.  
I had totally forgotten about it. All I did was stare at the screen. The cells in my brain started working:  
  
Going there for a job interview was no problem but if they actually hired me, it meant I had to move to New York and I wasn't sure if that's what I wanted.  
  
But this one was the only positive answer I had received from all my applications.  
  
I closed the digital device and got ready for a shower. As I took off my clothes I looked at myself in the huge mirror hanging above my sink in the bathroom.  
  
  
  
I looked healthier and stronger, than I did a few weeks ago, since I had gained some weight again. I felt proud, for the first time in a while.  
  
I turned on the water and jumped when the first drops of water met my skin. "Aaah it's fucking cold", I cursed and tried to find the right temperature.  
  
The water was running down my body. I closed my eyes and I inhaled deeply.  
  
Should I tell my girlfriend about New York? Would she wanna move there with me? Or would we have to do long distance? Or wouldn't she wanna be with me at all anymore?  
  
The fear of losing the brown-haired goddess made me want to cry. I couldn't lose her, neither leave her here alone.  
I had to tell her the truth though.  
  
When I was done showering I grabbed my phone and typed a message.  
  
 **Me:** _Hey babe, meet me at the small coffee shop across the cinema. I need to tell you something. Love you_  
sent 4:23pm  
  
  
 _ **Beca's POV:**_  
  
I was making my way down the stairs of the old building I had my apartment in, when I heard voices echoing through the staircase.  
  
  
  
"Damn it, that's Mr. Carlson", I whispered to myself. The two voices ended their conversation and I heard footsteps walking upstairs. I tried hiding behind the plant that was placed in front of the broken window in the second floor but the guy had already seen me.  
  
"Ah Miss Mitchell, glad to see you back. Everything okay?", he started off politely.  
  
"Ye...yes", I answered and smiled awkwardly.  
  
"Glad to hear. Well you know your rent is three weeks past due?", he wanted to know from me even though he knew I knew.  
  
"I know, Mr. Carlson. I'm so sorry", I started to apologize.  
  
"When will I be going to see that money", he kept pressuring.  
  
"Uhm...I don't quite know yet because I still...uhm...need to go and get the money...uhm...from my bank account...", I tried to explain myself.  
  
"Stop searching for excuses. Hand me over the money on friday or you're no longer living here", the old man pointed out harshly.  
  
"Yes, yes Mr. Carlson, of course. If you excuse my now, I have somewhere I need to be. Have a nice day", I said before I rushed down the remaining stairs and headed out of the wooden door.  
  
I couldn't even pay my rent anymore...  
  



	37. Overwhelmed.

_**Beca's POV:** _

When I reached the coffee shop I started searching for a bunch of red hair. I found Chloe sitting at the table next to the huge window.

"Hey there", I greeted her and sat down across the table.

"Hi Becs, I'm glad you could make it. I already ordered you a Cappuccino", Chloe let me know and pointed at the cup in front of me, "I hope you like that?"

"Yes, thank you", I said and put my hand on top of hers, which was just lying on the table, "So what did you wanna talk about?"

The redhead cleared her throat and I furrowed a brow. "I applied for a job...", she began, "...and they invited me for a job interview."

"That's amazing babe!", I expressed my joy and wanted to get up in order to kiss her.

"It's in New York", Chloe's words destroyed the moment. The corners of my mouth dropped and my face became quite pale. "Wh...what...does...that...m...mean?", I stuttered.

"First of all it's not even sure if they'll take me. They only invited me for a job interview. But if they take me...would you be willing to move to New York with me? If not I will just keep looking for jobs here in Seattle. New York would be a big chance though", my girlfriend tried to explain.

"Chloe...I...I...don't...I...I...don't...know", I managed to phrase. I was completely overwhelmed. I couldn't cope with the situation. I jumped up and stormed out of the shop.

"Beca wait", I heard Chloe yell after me but I really needed to be alone.

_**Chloe's POV:** _

I was standing next to my chair, watching Beca run away. I guess it had been too much for her.

I left some money on the table, grabbed my bag and decided to drive home.

I had parked my car a litte bit farther away because there hadn't been any free parking spots in front of the coffee shop, so I had to go a little bit by foot in order to get to my car.

Halfway there I felt someone pulling on my shirt. "Hey hottie", the familiar voice of Arizona spoke. "Just leave me the fuck alone. What is your problem?!", I asked her furiously as I turned around to face her.

"The problem is that you're not mine anymore but I want you to be", the blonde said, "It didn't work the nice, easy way so I guess I'll have to do it like this...come back to me or I'll make your life what people call hell!"

"Why are you so obsessed with me?", I wanted to know from her.

"Because you're the most gorgeous human I have ever seen and you made me feel things nobody else could ever make me feel. I'm not letting you slip away. Even if I have to force you. Nobody else can have you. You're mine. You belong with me", she expressed and placed a kiss on my cheek.

I didn't take her seriously. "You're being ridiculous, Arizona", I laughed, "Go see a therapist."

My ex-girlfriend looked me in the eyes deeply.  
"You asked for it!", she whispered and disappeared around the corner.


	38. Beca’s work.

_**Chloe's POV:**_  
  
"My god Arizona, just fuck off", I snapped, "why are you so obessed with me?"   
"I'm not obsessed, Chloe. I'm in love", she breathed. "I don't even know what's happened to you. You are not the bubbly, joyful peds surgeon I used to know. You're a psycho and a stalker", I said and turned around to walk away. I was expecting the blonde to pull me back again but this time she didn't. She just stood there and watched me walk away.  
  
When I finally reached my parking car I got in and drove back home, hoping to hear from Beca.  
  
Hours passed and it started to get dark outside and I still hadn't heard anything from my girl so I decided to leave her a message:  
  
**Me:** _Hey Becs, I'm sorry if I overwhelmed you earlier. Please call me when you get this_

10:03pm  
  
When she didn't call within the next hour I decided to go and check on her as I started to become worried.  
  
The door was open. I felt free to walk in and up the stairs where Beca lived. I knocked on the door of her apartment.  
  
Once. No reaction. Twice. No reaction.  
When I knocked a third time I heard someone coming up the stairs.  
  
"Miss? It's 11pm, what are you doing?", the deep voice of an old man echoed through the building.  
  
"Oh I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to wake anybody. I'm Chloe Beale and I'm the gi...I'm a friend of Beca Mitchell. Do you know where she is?", I asked politely and when he heard the name of Beca he shook his head.  
  
"I saw her leaving with a huge backpack. I don't think she is far though. Maybe you can find her where she works", he explained and rubbed his eyes. I was so confused.  
Why would she be leaving with a backpack?  
  
"And where does she work, sir?", I wanted to know from him.  
  
"Jerry's Pub", the man replied coldly and waddled back down the stairs to his apartment.  
  
"Thanks and sorry for disturbing", I thanked him and apologized.  
  
Jerry's Pub wasn't far from Beca's place.  
I entered the door and a clanking noise sounded.  
  
This bar looked like one of those lost places. It was dusty and not a single soul there.  
  
  
  
Except a man with his head resting on the counter and a drink next to him. He looked homeless.  
  
And there was Beca. She was busy doing the dishes behind the counter and didn't notice me coming. "Bec", I pointed out. She winced and looked up, "Explain."  
  
"How did you know I was working here?", the brunette wondered.  
  
"A guy at your's told me you had left with a backpack and would probably be here", I let her know and sat down on one of the bar stools.  
  
"This afternoon was too much, Chlo", my girlfriend opened up.  
  
"Yes I get that but that doesn't mean you have to ignore my messages. I was concerned about you", I told her calmly, "why would you be leaving with a backpack anyways?"  
  
The girl behind the counter inhaled and I noticed how she was phrasing the sentence in her head she was about to say next:"I moved out. Rent is due friday and I don't have the money. They would have kicked my out, so I decided to move out myself. I asked my boss and he said I could sleep her until I have found something else."  
  
"Are you serious?", her words hurt me, "I offered you a million times to just stay at mine and you prefer sleeping here in this...shit hole? And you don't even tell me about it?"  
  
"I'm sorry babe. I really don't wanna be a burden"  
  
"You could never be a burden. I'd love for you to move in with me", I made clear and leaned forward to kiss her  
  
A moment of silence filled the room.  
  
"Okay...I'm coming with you", the stubborn shorty gave in, "but I have to close the bar first."  
  
"How much do you earn?", I asked curiously.  
  
"Well...if I'm lucky 200 bucks a month", she expressed and my jaw dropped.


	39. All the things I love about you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Contains sexual elements!!!**

_**Beca's POV:** _

When I had locked the pub I hopped into Chloe's car and we made our way to her house.

I got caught up in my thoughts, just staring out the window, watching the lights of the traffic brighten up the night.

"Is everything alright?", I heard my girlfriend ask but I didn't show her any reaction. "Beca?", she tried again.

I turned my head to the left, looking at her and falling in love all over again. She looked at me for a second before her eyes were focused on the road again. "You okay?", she repeated herself.

"Oh yeah I'm alright", I replied and smiled, placing my hand on her leg.

—

"Chloe can I ask you something?", I wondered as I was lying next to her in her bed.

"Always", she answered.

"Why me?", I wanted to know from her.

"Because you're the most beautiful, kindest and sweetest girl I've ever met. Because from the first moment I saw you lying there in that bed with your shiny brown hair and your eyes, as blue as the ocean, I couldn't get you off my mind. Because when I hold your hand I forget all the worries in the world and whenever we kiss nothing else matters...that's why", the redhead blurted out without hesitation.

"I don't deserve you", I made clear.

"You deserve so much more", she replied and rolled over.

We shared a deep kiss and my hands travelled down her body until I reached her center. Chloe inhaled deeply. "You like that, huh?", I teased her and we locked eyes.

I kept kissing her soft lips while my hands took off her pants.

As soon as my girl was naked I admired her perfectly shaped body. She was the hottest thing I'd ever seen. "Stop looking and keep going", Chloe begged me and pushed my head between her legs as she buried her hands into my hair.

"How is your tongue so good, oh my god", she moaned.

"My fingers are even better", I whispered into her ear, goosebumps covered her whole body. I let two fingers slide inside of her and she gasped: "Fuck, Bec...aaa!"

I speeded up and the redhead couldn't be quiet anymore. I felt her beginning to sweat and her red curls started sticking on her shoulders. She grabbed my back and her nails scratched my skin. I knew she was on the edge.

"Don't stop", she managed to phrase between heavy breaths. And only seconds later waves of pleasure rushed through her whole body.

Exhausted she sank into my arms and we both fell asleep with a smile on our faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** The next chapters will be more exciting, I promise. Please keep reading and don't leave me hanging 🥺 **


	40. Trip to New York.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **OMG, I haven't updated in so long. Who is still here?**

**Chloe's POV:**

Today was the day. It was Tuesday, 5am and I was standing in front of my house waiting for the cab to pick me up.

"I'm going to miss you. I don't want you to go", Beca complained and pulled me in for a hug.

"It's only a job interview. I'll be back in three days", I made clear and placed a kiss on her nose.

"But what if they take you, what are we gonna do?", the brunette wanted to know and grabbed my hand.

"We will figure something out, okay? I promise", I said and saw the yellow car turning around the corner, stopping right in front of us.

"I guess that's mine", I whispered and looked at Beca. I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and gave her a kiss. "I love you so much, take care", I mumbled and smiled warmly as the wind blew through my curly, red hair.

"Take care yourself and bring me something from the city that never sleeps! I love you more", the girl declared as I turned away.

The driver got out of the car and helped me put my suitcase in the trunk. Then he held open the door so I could climb in.

When he started the engine I waved at Beca. I was going to miss her but the excitement took over the sadness.

**Beca's POV:**

I watched the cab, with Chloe inside, drive away. A tear rolled down my face but I wiped it away immediately.

"Please be okay, Chlo", I sighed before I made my way back in.

**Chloe's POV:**

"I'm guessing your destiny is the airport, Ma'am?", the man asked, focused on the road, waiting for me to reply.

"Yes, please", I answered and looked out of the window watching trees and houses pass.

After a 15-minute-car ride we arrived at the airport. I searched for my purse in order to pay the cab driver.

"Here it is", I expressed when I found it and handed him 20$.

"Keep it", I said politely, thanked him, grabbed my suitcase and entered the big entrance hall of Seattle's airport.

Everything went well and two hours later I was sitting in the plane. I put in my airpods and switched on music. Quietly I was humming to the melody of the song.

The plane took off and 5 hours later it safely landed in New York City.

I left Beca a message.

**Me:** _Everything went well. I'm in NY now. I love you. Kisses_

sent 4:35pm

(It was 1:35pm in Seattle. New York is 3 hours ahead)

The way to the hotel I would stay in for the following two nights wasn't too far away so I decided to walk instead of taking a cab.

It was a nice october afternoon and the temperature was just right. The leaves were shining in all different colors and now and then one floated to the ground.

"Hello, my name is Chloe Beale. I have booked a room for the 13th til 15th October", I introduced myself when I stood in front of the reception and handed the woman my booking confirmation and my ID-card.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Beale. Glad to have you here", the female receptionist greeted me and checked some things on her computer before handing me back my ID-card. "Your room number is 2347. It's on the second floor at the end of the hallway. Here's your keycard", she explained nicely and gave me a white, little card, "Have a great stay."

"Thanks so much", I said and made my way to the elevator. Luckily I had no trouble finding the right room and carefully opened it with the help of the keycard. It looked amazing and exhausted I let myself drop onto the huge bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Please drop a comment** 🙈🥰🙏🏻


	41. Everything makes sense.

**Beca's POV:**

The house was empty without Chloe, but it wasn't that bad since she would only be away for three days.

It's been two weeks since I moved in with the redhead and it was one of the best decisions I had ever made. I felt at home.

I got hungry but I didn't wanna cook something for myself so I decided to order some Sushi.

I loved Sushi, Chloe hated it.

After dinner I made myself comfortable on the sofa with one of my girlfriend's sweatshirts and let the evening end.

**Chloe's POV:**

I was getting ready for bed when my phone suddenly rang. "Who the hell is calling me now?", I asked myself and grabbed the device. "Beale", I mumbled.

"Grey Sloan Memorial, this is Owen Hunt", a male voice replied.

"Owen? What's up?", I wanted to know, slightly surprised.

"We got Arizona here, she had a little accident", he started to explain.

"Okay...and why are you calling me?", I wondered, obviously annoyed.

"Well...you're still her emergency contact and the accident is not the problem, it wasn't that bad...but we found a brain tumor, pretty far developed, inside of her head", the doctor continued.

I was shocked but I immediately realized something. Arizona wasn't Arizona, it was her tumor. It made her go crazy. "Damn...I knew something must have been wrong. Do you think Derek will be able to remove it?", I wanted to know and patiently waited for an answer.

"He said he would try but he can't promise anything. If he isn't able to remove it, her chances of surviving this year are low", the man announced seriously, "Can you come? I think she could need someone"

"I would but I'm in New York right now, I got a job interview. I'm back on thursday, I will check up on her. Thank you for letting me know. Bye", I finished and hung up.

With a head full of thoughts I sat down on the bed.

I didn't know how to react to what Owen had just told me. Arizona was my ex and she had threatened me, still I was willing to forgive her knowing that it hadn't been her, but her tumor.

I should have noticed. She hasn't been herself and I blamed it on the break up. I really thought she has turned into a monster after me cheating on her. Everything made sense now.

I decided to try and sleep since I needed to be fit tomorrow. I sent a goodnight message to Beca and wrapped myself in the blanket but the night was restless.


	42. Job interview.

**Chloe's POV:**  
  
When I woke up I rubbed my eyes and yawned loudly. I checked my phone. No notifications. It was 9:45am and the sun was shining brightly through the big window.  
  
I put on some clothes and went down to the restaurant of the hotel in order to get some breakfast. After that I went up again and took a shower.  
  
"What do I wear to that job interview?", I murmured to myself and rummaged through my suitcase. I found a neat dress and some pants with a top and a blazer. I tried both outfits and checked myself in the mirror.  
The decision was quite hard because I really wanted to make a good impression. After an hour of changing outfits I decided to go with the dress. I put up my hair in a loose ponytail and put on some make up.  
I felt myself becoming more nervous every minute. To be honest I really wanted to have that job.  
  
At 1:30pm I left the hotel and made my way to Lenox Hill Hospital.  
  
The building was huge.  
"Wow", it left my mouth when I stepped through the door, "Everything just looks so...fascinating."  
I saw doctors running through the halls and nurses talking on their phones. It looked like a mess but at the same time perfectly organized.  
  
I walked up to the information desk and introduced myself: "Good afternoon, I'm Doctor Chloe Beale. I'm from Seattle and I'm here for a job interview with Doctor Kate Summer."  
  
"She'll be down in 2 minutes. Take a seat", the nurse told me and pointed to one of the free chairs behind me.  
  
"Thanks"  
  
I sat down nervously and felt myself starting to bite my lips because that's what I always did when I was nervous. I couldn't keep my feet still and my hands were trembling.  
  
Suddenly I saw a woman. She was breathtakingly beautiful and the stethoscope around her neck made her even more attractive. She was coming right towards me. "Oh no", I thought.  
  
  
  
"Hi, you must be Doctor Beale. I'm Doctor Summer. I'm head of general surgery. Nice meeting you", the female doctor mentioned and shook my hand.  
  
"Hey, yes that's me and it's nice meeting you too, Doctor Summer", I replied and giggled awkwardly.  
  
"Why don't we go up to my office", she suggested and put on a big smile. I nodded and followed her.  
  
When we entered the office she offered me to take a seat and sat down at the other side of the huge table that was placed in the middle of the room.  
  
"So...welcome to New York. This hospital is one of the biggest and best ones in the whole city. Working here is a blessing.  
What led you to applying to exactly this hospital?", the woman wanted to know and clicked open a pen in order to right some things down.  
  
"Well...first of all thank you for inviting me.  
I was searching through the internet looking for a new job and I found this hospital. I read through the whole website and I was impressed. It was exactly what I imagined the perfect hospital to be like. I had the feeling I'd fit in here. Furthermore I'm a qualified cardiac surgeon and I was the one of the best ones in Seattle", I explained confidently and took a sip of water from the glass that was standing in front of me.  
  
"Why did you quit your old job in Seattle?", she asked and raised one of her eyebrows.  
  
I knew this question would come. I didn't know whether to tell the truth or not.  
Should I tell her that I had been fired? Or should I tell her something else?  
  
"To be honest...they fired me", I admitted and looked up waiting for a reaction.  
The doctor was looking at me with big eyes.  
  
"Why did they fire you?", she wondered, quite surprised.  
  
I told her the whole story and I could tell she was shocked but I couldn't tell if she was shocked in a good or in a bad way. I didn't know if she was about to judge me for what I have done or if she was about to be impressed by it.  
  
"That was pretty wrong and damn dangerous. I get why they fired you but it sounds really impressive, Doctor Beale", the woman answered and made a friendly face.  
  
I was more than relieved.  
  
After some more questions the interview was done and I took a deep breath.  
  
"Thank you. That should do. I'll let you know about the results", the lady finished the conversation.  
  
"Alright", I added and reached out my hand. The doctor shook it again and this time she looked into my eyes, deeply. We kept eye contact for several seconds until I turned my face away.  
  
"What was that?", I thought to myself.


	43. A strange feeling.

**Beca‘s POV:**

“How was it?“, I asked through the phone while brushing my teeth.

“It...was okay“, Chloe answered quietly, “I can’t wait to see you tomorrow!“

“Me neither, babe“, I told her and made a kissing sound, “Now get some sleep, your flight is early.““

You‘re right. Goodnight my love“, the redhead squeaked and hung up.

“Goodnight, Chlo“, I whispered and let my phone slip into the pocket of my pants.

I couldn’t wait for my girl to come back.  
It had felt like ages even if it had only been two days.  
But I had a feeling. A feeling I couldn’t explain. A feeling that something was about to happen...

_The next morning_

**Chloe‘s POV:**

I checked out of the hotel and made my way back to the airport. This time things didn’t go that well. The queues were long and the waiting times endless. After finally getting through the passport control, I sat down at the gate getting ready to board.

Meanwhile it was 7:40am and the plane was supposed to take off at 7:45am and we still hadn’t boarded yet. I was about to ask one of the stewardesses when an announcement echoed through the hall:

_“Flight B243 to Seattle is currently delayed by two hours due to bad weather conditions. Estimated departure is 9:45am._

_Thank you for your understanding.“_

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. “What am I supposed to do now?“, I wondered and stood up. It was cold. Rain was pouring outside. Airplanes were constantly taking off and arriving.

I decided to check out the stores in the departure hall and slowly made my way to the duty free shop.

“This is so expensive“, I stated when I checked the price of some cute little souvenirs. I had promised Beca to bring her something from New York.

I kept searching for something and eventually left the store with a little teddy bear that was wearing a new york shirt and some sunglasses.

I passed the rest of the time by listening to music and playing games on my phone. When it was finally time to board I was the first one in lane. “Your ticket please“, the stewardess ordered and I handed her my ticket before entering the aircraft.

I had a seat next to the window in the back of the plane. I let Beca know that I was about to take off.

**Me:** _I’m taking off now. See you soon_

9:46am

I made myself comfortable and heard the engine start. Only minutes later we were up in the air.

**Beca’s POV:**

It was 7:05am when I woke up. One look at my phone told me that Chloe had only just taken off.

The strange feeling from yesterday still hadn’t left my body. I laid there and stared at the ceiling. A million thoughts running through my head.

**Chloe’s POV:**

The plane was moving steadily and I had just closed my eyes when a sudden move left me sitting wide awake. My heart dropped but only seconds later everything was calm again. “I‘m sure it had only been some clouds we were flying through“, I told myself when there was another one.

This time suitcases fell out of the luggage racks above the seats and people reflexively put their hands above their heads so they wouldn’t be be hit...


	44. Turbulence.

_**Chloe's POV:**_  
  
Panic filled the room and tried to breathe.  
The turbulences became rougher.  
  
"Dear passengers, please remain seated and put on your seatbelt", a lady constantly reapeted through the speakers of the aircraft.  
  
Suddenly an oxygen mask fell from above me. That happened at every seat.  
I didn't hesitate to put it on.  
  
After that I noticed the woman next to me struggling to on her mask, so I decided to help her.  
  
"Let me give you a hand", I mumbled nervously and helped.  
  
"Th...thank you", she sighed while sweat was dripping down her forehead.  
  
I looked out of the window and thought about Beca. I thought about her lying in bed waiting for me with her hair up in a messy bun wearing my favorite sweater. I felt scared and unsure about what was going to happen next. I just wanted to be home. I wasn't ready to die on this flight.  
  
"Is there a doctor on board?! Please we need help. Is there a doctor anywhere?!", I heard someone screaming, waking me from my thoughts.  
  
I wanted to jump up and help but my body didn't allow me to. It was shaking and my heart was pounding rapidly. I tried to calm myself down.  
  
"We need help!", I heard the man shout a second time.  
  
That's where I put away my fear, removed my oxygen mask and climbed over the two people sitting in my row. Carefully but fast I made my way through the narrow aisle from the back of the plane to were the screams were coming from. I saw a man lying on the floor unconsciously and one kneeling next to him.  
  
"I'm a doctor", I announced when I reached the place.  
  
"Thank god. This is my dad. You have to help him!", the young man, about 20, ordered desperately. He was close to hyperventilating.  
  
"Okay, calm down. Keep breathing. What's your name?", I wanted to know from him while checking the pulse of the older unconscious person.  
  
"My..my name is Michael", he exhaled.  
  
"Alright, Michael. I'm Chloe", I introduced myself.  
  
I took his hand and put him on his feet. He sat down in his seat and I attempted putting on his oxygen mask. He fought it.  
  
"What about my dad, what about him. I can't just sit here and do nothing. I gotta help", he cried.  
  
"Listen, you are shocked. You are almost hyperventilating. I don't want you to become unconscious as well. So I need you to sit here and breathe through this mask and let me do my work okay?", I requested and he finally gave in.  
  
"What's your dad's name?", I questioned and kneeled down next to the man.  
  
"Bryan", the boy murmured.  
  
"Bryan, I'm Chloe. Can you hear me?", I tried talking to him. No reaction.  
  
I didn't have the necessary medical tools so I needed to help myself. The boy was busy breathing, which was good, so I decided to ask the people around what has happened.  
  
"I need you to explain to me exactly what happened. Every little detail. I can't examine this man because we're not in a hospital so it has to work this way", I exclaimed and waited for someone to talk to me.  
  
The plane made a sudden rough turn to the right and I fell back hitting my head on the ground. "Shit", I cursed and squeezed my eyes.  
  
I got myself up and crawled back to the patient.  
  
"He was sitting there next to his son. They were talking and then the older man put both his hands on his legs and he began shaking. He fell to the ground and continued shaking for about a minute until he lost consciousness", a girl explained unexpectedly but clearly.  
  
"Did he say anything specific before he started shaking", I asked and the girl shook her head: "No, I don't think so."  
  
"Thanks, honey", I said to her and smiled.  
  
"Michael?", I got the son's attention, "does your dad take any medication or does he suffer from any illnesses. I need you to tell me the truth, otherwise I won't be able to do the right thing."  
  
"He...he...", Michael started when the plane dropped, at least two seconds, straight down before it caught itself again. My face became pale and I felt the need to throw up but I swallowed it down. My heart beat in my toes and my chest tightened. I took a deep breath.  
  
"What did you want to say", I faced the boy again.  
  
"He's...an alcoholic", the young man stated and I saw the tears building in his eyes...


	45. Trouble in the air

**Chloe’s POV:**  
  
The unconscious man opened his eyes and looked at me. “Oh hey Bryan, I‘m Chloe. I‘m going to help you“, I whispered and pressed his hand.  
  
I thought for a minute. The man has had a seizure and he was an alcoholic. The two things didn’t need to have anything to do with each other but if they did then this could only be one thing: Acute liver failure.  
  
I couldn’t be sure but if my predictions were right this man was close to death. Soon his liver would give up and the other organs would follow.  
  
Now I heard Bryan cough and choke. He had trouble breathing and if I didn’t do anything now he would suffocate within the next minutes.  
  
“I need a first-aid-kid. Immediately!“, I yelled.  
  
One of the stewardesses rushed and grabbed one from the cupboard next to the cockpit. As soon as she handed it to me I opened it and searched for the things I needed in order to do a Tracheotomy.  
  
I found bandages and disinfectants. I needed a knife but we were on a plane so I suspected nobody had a knife with them.  
  
“Does anybody have a sharp object with them?“, I asked, nervously fiddling with the bandages between my fingers.  
  
“I got a mirror, maybe if we break it we can use the glass?“, a middle aged woman let me know and gave me her little mirror.  
  
I threw it to the ground and it shattered into a million pieces. I took the largest one and sterilized it. 

The last thing I needed was some kind of tube. Cautiously I looked around and found my eyes on the straw that was tingling in the boy’s water cup. I reached for it and sterilized this one as well.  
  
I sat on top of the heavily breathing man and took a few deep breaths myself. I sprayed some disinfectant on his throat.  
  
“I‘m so sorry, Bryan. This is gonna hurt, but you‘ll be able to breathe after“, I made clear to him.  
  
I placed the sharp piece of the broken mirror on his throat. The plane was shaking and I had trouble keeping my hand still.  
  
My thoughts wandered to Beca. I remembered her calm blue eyes and her warm-hearted smile.  
  
I counted to three before I slit a hole and stuck in the straw.  
  
The man inhaled deeply and I was able to see the tension leave his body. I wrapped the bandages around the straw in order to stabilize it and keeping it from falling out.  
  
But this plane needed to land. I knew he wouldn’t survive much longer without real medical care. There wasn’t more I could do for him on this plane without making things worse.

I stood up.

“Miss“, I heard a voice but I couldn’t identify where it was coming from, “you are bleeding.“

I frowned, confused about the words. Now I felt some kind of liquid on the back of my head. I touched the spot I had fallen on with my fingers. A sharp pain rushed through my head forcing me to let out a silent groan. When I pulled back, taking a look at my hand it was covered in blood.  
“Damn it“, I muttered.

But I didn’t have time for that now.

“Is everybody else alright?“, I shouted through the room and I saw a few people holding ice packs, the stewardesses had given away, against parts of their bodies because they had fallen or gotten hit by one of the suitcases which were flying uncontrolled through the aisle of the plane. Many were crying and some even panicking.  
But nobody else was seriously injured.

“Listen you need to take that damn plane down right now or this man is gonna die right here“, I expressed to the stewardess who had handed me the first-aid-kid earlier.

“That’s not possible, Ma‘am“, she answered and turned away but I grabbed her arm feeling anger rising inside of me. When it came to patients dying fun was over for me.

“Are you even hearing what I am saying!?“, I argued.

“I‘m sorry but the plane can’t be landed right now“, the woman repeated.

“I wanna talk to the pilot“, I protestet. A swing of the plane almost made me fall again but this time I held on to the back of the seat next to me, managing to keep my balance.

“You cannot talk to-“, she began but I already found myself banging against the door of the cockpit.

“What’s going on?“, I heard a male voice from inside asking. Only a few seconds later the door opened and the co-pilot was standing in front of me. The pilot busy flying the plane. Something seemed off.

“You should sit down and put on your seatbelt“, he declared.

“No there is a man, he is dying and he needs to get to the hospital right now. I‘m a doctor but I cannot do much for him up in the air. You need to land this aircraft“, I blurted out without taking a single breath between my words.

The man looked at me. His face expressing fear and pain. His stare was cold and empty. Goosebumps covering my body when he finally started to speak: “Miss...we won’t be able to help this man anyways. We won’t be able to help anyone.“

I didn’t quite understand what he was trying to say.

“This plane is gonna crash“, his words shot through my body as if someone has just fired a gun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
> _There‘ll be some Bechloe soon again but I hope you enjoy it anyways🙏🏻_  
>  **


	46. Plane crash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Long time no see. Hope you all are still with me.** 😌

**Chloe's POV:**

I stumbled back a few steps trying to process what I just heard. Without a word and as if I was in a trance I made my way back to my seat. I noticed people shouting my name but I ignored it. I sat down and looked out of the window when I started shaking. I closed my eyes and a tear escaped the corner of my eye.

Beca. She was all I could think about.

I wanted to be with her. I wanted to spend every day with her. I wanted to start a family with her and I wanted to grow old with her.

But what if this is the end? What if this plane crashes and I'm just gone?

I started to feel the plane lose it's height. I took a deep breath and started humming my favorite song in order to stay calm.

"Are you the doctor?", a woman asked after tapping my shoulder. She was carrying a little girl in her arms, unconscious and with a bleeding forehead.

"Yes", I replied coldly.

"Can you help my daughter?", she wanted to know and looked at me with desperate eyes.

"Miss....", I wanted to decline because I knew there was no point in helping that little girl but I couldn't say no.

"Please", the woman begged.

I nodded and carefully stood up. I asked her to lie the girl on the floor.

"What's her name?", I wondered.

"Hailee"

"Hey Hailee, I'm Doctor Chloe. Can you hear me?", I started talking to her in a high voice. The girl squeezed my hand and I knew she was awake. "Alright, I'm gonna stitch that little cut on your forehead okay?", I let her know and grabbed the stuff I needed out of the first-aid-kit. "It might pinch a tiny little bit but you're a brave girl so I'm sure you'll handle it like a queen", I said and started stitching the cut.

When I was done I put away the things and looked at Hailee. She had opened her eyes and smiled a little. "Well done princess", I whispered.

"Thank you so much", the mother expressed her gratitude.

"No problem", I replied and forced a smile.

It killed me knowing that this would probably be the last minutes of every person on this plane.

The aircraft became more unsteady and I sat down again so I wouldn't fall.

"Think about something nice, Chloe", I tried to tell myself and my thoughts wandered to the first time Beca and I had kissed. It was a sunny day in spring, in the garden of the hospital.

I got caught up in the memories and didn't recognize the plane increasing in speed. The passengers got louder and death closer.

I started crying and praying to god that this wouldn't be the last moment of my life.

The plane hit the ground and the last thing I heard were screams full of pain before everything went black...


End file.
